Three stages of boy development

Boys do not grow by themselves, even and smooth. It doesn’t happen that you bother yourself only by stuffing healthy cereals into your child, providing him with clean cash — and one fine day your boy wakes up a real man! It is necessary to follow a certain educational program.

Briefly about the three stages of development

1. The first stage covers the period from birth to six years — the age during which the boy is most closely associated with his mother. This is «her» boy, even though the father can play a very big role in the life of the child. The purpose of education during this period is to convey to the boy great love and a sense of security, to «charge» him for life as a great and exciting journey.

2. The second stage lasts six to fourteen years old — the age period during which the boy, following his own inner feelings, wants to learn to be a man and looks more and more closely at his father, his interests and actions. (Although the mother remains a very close person, and the world around her is becoming more and more interesting). The purpose of education during this period is to increase the level of knowledge of the child and develop his abilities, not forgetting about kindness and openness, that is, to strive for the development of a harmonious personality. It is at this age that your son comes to feel the joy and comfort of being a boy.

3. And finally, the period fourteen years old to adulthood — when a boy needs the participation of a male mentor if he wants to be fully prepared for adulthood. Mom and dad are somewhat receding into the background, but they must find a worthy mentor for their son so that he does not have to be content with the knowledge and experience of his incompetent peers. The purpose of education at this stage is to teach skills, instill a sense of responsibility and self-respect, actively involving them in adulthood.

Please remember that these stages do not in any way imply a sudden or abrupt transition of influence on the child from one parent to another. It is best when both parents take an active part in the life of a son from childhood to adulthood. The stages of adolescence only indicate a shift in emphasis: for example, the father comes to the fore at the age of the son from six to thirteen, and the influence of mentors increases from the age of fourteen. The main criteria for choosing a mentor are safety and honesty.

Knowing about these three stages, you can clearly define a program of action for yourself. For example, it is quite obvious that the fathers of boys between the ages of six and fourteen should not be workaholics, nor should they be removed from the family either morally or physically. If this happens, it is exclusively to the detriment of the sons. (And yet this is exactly what modern fathers do, as many of us can attest to from our childhood experiences.)

Boys’ developmental stages suggest that we need extra help from society as our sons reach adolescence. Once such support was provided by relatives (uncles and grandfathers) or craftsmen who took boys as apprentices and apprentices.

Unfortunately, today it happens too often that teenagers go out into the big world, but there it is as if no one is waiting for them, no one is offering a helping hand, and they are forced to spend their adolescence and youth in dangerous homelessness. Some never grow up.

It is fair to say that many of the problems — especially those related to the behavior of boys, their lack of motivation at school, and then trouble with the law (driving drunk, fighting, etc.) stem from the fact that we did not know about the characteristics of boyhood development and did not provide them with the necessary assistance in time.

Knowing the three stages of boy development is essential, so we need to look at them in detail and decide how to respond. What we are doing now.

From Birth to Six: The Tender Years

Babies are babies. It is a girl or a boy — it does not matter either for the child himself or for his parents. Babies love to be held, played with, squeezed, and they giggle contentedly; they like to observe the world around them. Babies have different temperaments. With some it is quite easy — they are calm and relaxed, they sleep for a long time. Others are noisy and restless, always demanding action. Someone fearful and restless, in need of constant confirmation that there is someone next to him, that he is loved. See →

Six to Thirteen: Interest in Masculinity

At the age of six, boys undergo an important metamorphosis. It is as if a masculinity that has been dormant until now wakes up in them. Even those boys who don’t watch much TV suddenly start to show interest in weapons, dream of wearing superman caps, wrestling and fighting, playing noisy games. And something else very important is happening: and this is typical for all countries and cultures. Around the age of six, boys seem to lock on to their father or grandfather or another man. They awaken the desire to be close to a man, to learn from him, to imitate. They want to «learn to be a man.» See →

Fourteen and Over: Becoming a Man

Around the age of fourteen, a new stage of adolescence begins. As a rule, at this age, boys noticeably stretch in growth, but a striking change occurs in the body: testosterone levels rise by almost 800 percent!

Although everything is individual, but at this age they have something in common: they become more stubborn, restless, their mood often changes. And it’s not that they change for the worse, it’s just that a new personality is born in them, and birth always involves a struggle. They need to find answers to serious questions, plunge into new adventures, set new goals for themselves, determine priorities for the future — and meanwhile, the internal clock rushes them to live. See →