Often we blurt out words in our hearts and immediately begin to regret what was said or fall asleep, full of painful thoughts. We complain: “I can’t do this anymore, I urgently need a rest.” Meditation instructor Meshin Kelly is sure that the lack of awareness, the inability to live in the here and now, is to blame. She shares three simple practices and how to incorporate them into your daily life.
You decided to master the technique, chose the right clothes: comfortable, not restricting movement. They turned off the phone, put on pleasant music, took the right posture: they sat down with a straight back. You try your best, but nothing works. You keep thinking about not thinking. A restless mind does not give rest, and this is normal. Buddhists compare consciousness to a monkey: it jumps from one subject (thought, topic) to another.
But just as natural to us is awareness – a reflection of experience, a capacity inherent in everyone. It does not need to be created artificially, developed, you just need to discover it in yourself. To do this, you need not be distracted.
Through mindfulness, we stop reacting out of habit: impulsively, emotionally, overly sharply and painfully.
It frees the mind. When we are in this state, thoughts and emotions may come and go, but we do not follow these “restless monkeys”, we do not get entangled in experiences. When we are aware of thoughts, their flow does not carry us away. Thanks to this, we stop reacting out of habit – impulsively, emotionally, overly sharply and painfully. Moreover, we stop looking for happiness outside and find its source in ourselves.
Three practices that will help you be aware of everything that happens, fix thoughts, feelings and emotions, accept them as they are.
Body awareness meditation
Take a position: sit down, straighten your back. Lying classes are difficult for beginners – there is a high risk of falling asleep. However, over time, you can learn to do it in any position: sitting, lying, standing and walking. Relax the muscles in your arms and legs. It seems to many that it is impossible to keep your back straight and relax at the same time.
To make it easier, use your mind’s eye to pull the top of your head up. Try to imagine that each vertebra is located on the previous one, each of them has a support. The main thing is not to overdo it, not to create unnecessary tension.
Breathe naturally. Meditation can be practiced with both open and closed eyes. Put your attention on the body. Feel it, be aware of it. Feel the weight, listen to the sensations in it. Alternately direct attention to different parts of the body and relax the muscles.
Of course, in the process of practice, you will have a variety of thoughts, and this is normal. Don’t try to block them, but don’t follow them either. Just mentally return to the body. Focus on your breath: inhale, exhale. Be aware that you are breathing. Each time you are distracted by something, gently bring yourself back to awareness of your breath. After each exhalation, allow the mind to be in a state of complete rest for a while.
The most important thing in practice is to be in your experience, cognition. After a long day, we may feel drowsy, drift into slumber, the mind may be sluggish. But even this state can be used as an object and support – to be aware of your sleepy state.
There may be images, physical sensations, so-called meditative experiences. We must not drive them away, but we must not become attached to them either.
Sound meditation
The goal is to be aware of noises and sounds around us. Take the correct position: the back is straight, the muscles are relaxed. Be aware of the body, its weight, the sensations in it. Switch your attention to your breath. Breathe naturally. Pay attention to the sounds: the noise of cars on the street, the sound of running water, the ticking of the clock, the creaking of the floorboards. You don’t need to focus too much. If extraneous thoughts arise, notice them and gently redirect your attention to the sounds.
Meditation on emotions
Having taken the correct position, listen to the body, watch the breath. Stay in the present moment, here and now. Bring your attention to the emotions you are experiencing. If you don’t feel anything in particular, try to think of an incident that triggered an emotion, positive or negative. Let yourself experience it again. Watch how it reflects in the body.
Meditation is not a remedy for all diseases, but it gives a feeling of fullness of life, presence in it.
Try to become aware of the thought that caused the emotion to arise. Your task is to first learn to work with emotions in a calm environment, alone with yourself. And then, when you encounter them in life, it will be easier to deal with them.
This does not mean that you will no longer experience anger. It’s just that at the moment when something makes you angry, you will be aware of the emotion and stop interacting with it in the usual way: splashing it out or suppressing it.
3 tips
1. Many people think: to start, you must initially be calm, free your head from thoughts. This is not true. The main thing is the attitude to practice.
2. Get rid of ideas about what it should be, do not wait for the result. Treat the practice as a kind of experiment – with interest and curiosity.
3. Getting lost and wandering is natural. Feeling distracted? Do not reproach and do not condemn yourself for this, come back. Don’t make it your goal not to be distracted, it creates unnecessary stress. When we aim for a certain result, it goes against the very principle of mindfulness. A swarm of thoughts in your head? Be glad that you have learned to notice them, and then again direct your attention to the body.
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Meditating for 20 minutes a day for 6 weeks gives measurable results, so try to spend 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening to begin with.
Sitting in a meditation posture every day is already beneficial in itself – it is at this moment that we overcome the strongest resistance and lay the foundation for a new healthy habit.
It is possible and necessary to meditate not only during formal sessions, but also in everyday life: simply by switching attention to your body, breathing, being in the “here and now”.
It is important to understand that meditation is not a cure for all diseases, it will not help to unravel all knots and solve all problems. But it gives a feeling of fullness of life, “presence” in it. This is a way to relax, look inside yourself and return to yourself, stop reacting out of habit, emotionally, accept yourself.
And finally, start living a more conscious, and therefore, fulfilling life.
About expert
Meshin Kelly – meditation instructor, student of meditation teacher Mingyur Rinpoche, mentor at the retreat center. He has been practicing meditation for over 40 years.