The effects of childhood trauma often continue into adulthood and may even be passed on to the next generation. Childhood experiences of bullying, abuse, bereavement, or neglect by parents increase the risk of developing addictions, depressive disorders, and other mental health problems. Let’s talk about how you can deal with it.
Psychotherapists often say that in order to heal trauma, it is important that the patient establishes contact with his “wounded inner child.” By this child they mean all the psychological and emotional baggage left from childhood and continuing to create problems in adulthood.
The term “inner child” gained popularity thanks to self-help authors, most notably John Bradshaw and his bestselling book Coming Home.
The archetype of the “wounded child” usually manifests itself in the following way: in the life of an adult, the same negative experiences and manifestations of inadequate behavior are repeated over and over again, which he adopted in childhood, looking at others.
For example, if a girl in childhood regularly observed how her father abused her mother, then in adulthood she may constantly enter into relationships with men who are prone to abuse.
Addiction and mental health problems, rooted in childhood, are treatable. Here are a few techniques that can help you recognize negative patterns learned in childhood and re-educate your inner child.
1. Empty chair technique
The application of this technique looks like this: the therapist places an empty chair in front of you and invites you to imagine that a person significant to you is sitting on it – for example, one of your parents.
You “communicate” with an imaginary interlocutor, talk about your thoughts and feelings, or explain to him what you wanted, but could not get from him as a child. The therapist may suggest that you “reverse roles” and take the place of an imaginary interlocutor yourself.
This work is especially helpful when people who have meant a lot to you in the past are unable or unwilling to take part in therapy. It helps you reconnect with your feelings about the past and with parts of yourself that you have tried to hide or suppress through addiction or other destructive behavior.
By getting in touch with your own feelings and memories, you can become aware of how they affect your current behavior and understand how you can change the situation.
2. Schematic therapy
This method is suitable for patients experiencing difficulties in society, as well as those who cannot cope with the consequences of childhood psychological trauma.
Children who grow up in a hostile or unhealthy environment often develop coping patterns, memories, emotions, ideas about themselves and others that are fraught with problems and lead to inappropriate reactions and behaviors in adulthood.
Schematic therapy combines the approaches and principles of cognitive behavioral therapy, attachment theory and other methods
During treatment, the therapist uses “re-education” techniques to help the patient’s vulnerable inner child learn to meet their basic emotional needs in healthy ways.
Schematic therapy teaches the patient how to look at himself and others differently and helps him overcome the desire to avoid unpleasant situations and get rid of other inappropriate reactions.
3. DPDG
Eye movement desensitization and processing (EMDR) is a technique based on the processing of information by the brain. It can help relieve unpleasant experiences associated with traumatic past events, such as obsessive thoughts, sudden painful memories, anxiety, fear, and panic attacks.
As the work progresses, the patient’s eyes follow moving objects (such as the therapist’s fingers) while trying to focus on internal negative images, thoughts, and feelings associated with the trauma.
This technique simultaneously engages both hemispheres of the brain, allowing the client to get rid of the habitual reaction to injury. Rapid eye movements and focus on external stimuli help him recall, process, and discharge painful memories that create or exacerbate his problems.
These and other therapies can help you meet the key emotional needs that were left unfulfilled as a child and heal old wounds that keep you from living your full life.
About the Expert: David Sack is a psychiatrist and chief medical officer at Elements Behavior Health, a network of drug and alcohol rehab centers.