Three Proven Ways to Start Doing What You Don’t Want to Do

Unlike most people, I love going to the doctors. Since childhood, I loved to be treated: I liked the cheerfulness and confidence inherent in doctors, white coats and shiny instruments, attentive questions – after all, they asked not only my mother, but also me. They spoke to me seriously, as with a “big”, and at the same time affectionately and reassuringly. In general, all my life I perceived going to the clinic as an easy adventure: exciting, but with a happy ending.

However, a few years ago, I suddenly felt that something had changed. Despite active self-treatment, I had a severe sore throat for two weeks, and it became clear that I should see a specialist. But I couldn’t. For some reason, this time the thought of doctors gave me a vague, but very unpleasant feeling. Reason said it was necessary, but emotions were actively against it. And this is with my love for doctors!

A month passed, and I could not bring myself to go to the doctor. My throat still hurt, especially unbearably at night. When I complained about my strange behavior to my mother, she suddenly said: “I think I know why you can’t convince yourself to go to Laura.” And she told a story from my early childhood, when ENT tried to lubricate my sore throat, and I struggled and cried until my mother and I just ran out of the office.

I listened to her story, and the completely forgotten (more precisely, “displaced” from memory) case began to be restored with all the details, experiences, memories. After this conversation, I immediately felt at ease. It turns out that since then I have continued to go to other doctors willingly, but at that time a “curse” was imposed on the otolaryngologist by my unconscious. I gathered my courage, once again reminded myself that that episode was in the distant past, and then calmly went to the clinic.

1. Analyze the past

So, if it is difficult for us to force ourselves to do something, it is worth considering: are there any unconscious, but at the same time persistent barriers erected by our emotional memory in the distant past? Perhaps it is they who influence behavior and block today’s motivation? Of course, such “excavations” are best done with a specialist, but sometimes introspection can be quite fruitful.

An example from my practice. A client, a young musician descended from a musical dynasty, once shared with me a seemingly minor problem. The musical archive of his late grandfather, stored in one of the rooms of the Moscow apartment, has not yet been sorted out. For several months he made attempts to begin this difficult undertaking, but every time he put it off with vexation. “Something inside prevents me from doing, in general, quite interesting and important for me the study of my grandfather’s legacy,” this is how he formulated this problem.

We began to explore this “internal obstacle” until we came to a traumatic and therefore repressed memory from my client’s preschool childhood. As it turned out, one day, due to a misunderstanding, he took a stack of music sheets from his grandfather’s desktop (and his grandfather was then alive and well) and painted them with paints. Grandfather was furious: it was his new work – and rather severely punished his grandson.

Since then, all the grandfather’s papers have become forbidden for the grandson, marked with the stamp “do not touch!”. Over the years, this episode “weathered” from the memory of the hero, passing into an unconscious, but powerfully emotionally charged layer of “unprocessed” memories. As a result of our joint efforts, this unpleasant episode was restored, “lost”, which made it possible to reduce the level of his hidden pain and resentment. Soon the young man began to analyze the archive – the “internal obstacle” lost its energy and strength.

2. Prepare in advance

Let’s not forget: anticipation breeds desire. Sometimes we don’t get down to what seems to be necessary things simply because we are not ready. The head is occupied by others. For any serious business, one must internally “ripen”. Gain strength, evaluate and find resources, set deadlines, work out an action plan, and then everything will go smoothly.

Here is a short life story told by a friend of mine.

“The thirteen-year-old daughter begged for repairs in the kitchen and bathroom – she, you see, was ashamed to invite friends to our“ unkempt hole. Indeed, repairs have long been required, but how I did not want to start it! Discomfort, money, constant cleaning… I delayed the start of this event as best I could, despite my daughter’s demands. And then a psychologist friend told me about the “preparation” technique. It was just what we needed!

I immediately scheduled the start of repairs – in a month, not earlier. She announced the decision to her daughter and friends so that there was no way to “slip away” from her obligations. Arranged with a qualified and reliable team. Together they made a plan of action. Dragged all things from the future “battlefield”. During this time, I managed to prepare mentally as well: I cleaned up my work so that I could run home without delay, tune in to a temporary “mobilization mode” of life. And when the deadline came, I dreamed of starting repairs as soon as possible.

Now I wanted beautiful transformations no less than my daughter, and I was ready for the coming trials. That’s what it means – an advance announcement, detailed planning, systemic organization and enhanced moral preparation!

3. Use motivation techniques that suit you

But what if you need to get down to business quickly? You will have to urgently look for ways and tools of motivation that are effective for you. In fact, we all know these methods very well, the main thing is to consciously turn to them.

Forward-looking people are highly motivated by the “image of the future outcome.” It is enough for them to mentally focus on the benefits that they will receive as a result of a successfully completed business, and they immediately begin work. Vivid visualization and imaginary stay in the desired future help some to “turn mountains”. And here is the way one wise manager found.

“For work, I needed to learn German,” he says. — I had no desire, no time, no ability for languages. What to do? Knowing my characteristics, I went to the language group and mentally chose an active, motivated student of about my age and circle. This student, without realizing it, became my competitor and “engine of progress.”

There was excitement – to defeat him, to prove to everyone that I am smarter and more capable than the one who seems to be the best. The criterion is the final exam and intermediate marks of the teacher. My competitive, competitive nature did not disappoint: for a year of study, the battle was won. I did well in the exam and got more points than my talented classmate. What about language? Well, of course, I had to learn it. Without this, my victory would not have been possible.”

There is another option in my observation notebook. “As a strong-willed person, I can force myself to do what I need, but I don’t want to. Usually, willpower is enough for the first step, then it weakens, – said another client of mine, an employee of a large company. – But I found a great way: if I take not one, but two steps on the way to the result, then I will already “get involved” in the business, and it will be easier to continue it.

I remember I had to prepare a big presentation at the end of the year. It was necessary to read many reports, collect figures and facts. At first I tried to divide the work into small stages. But each stage took a lot of energy, since doing all this was boring, painful, dreary. But then I decided to devote the whole day to presentations – and the work began.

I felt the taste of dry analytics, delved into the data, imagined how they can be visually and beautifully presented. By midnight, the main substantive work was completed – much earlier than planned. And all just because I did not stop at the first stage, but went further. And the further you move, the easier it is – the work you have begun is already taking on meaning, form, meaning, and you already want to bring it to completion.

Of course, there are many ways to make yourself work. Your task is to choose what is right for you. Open your diary and see – what tasks are regularly transferred from one week to another? If they are important, then why did you doom them to endless delay? It’s time to understand this and start implementing them. Without delay. With inspiration. With a good result.