It is not true that men are not afraid of anything. They just rarely admit to the fears that are inherent in them — and in sex as well. Although today they are more and more open about their worries. And this, of course, is for the better, Igor Kan, a sexologist, is sure, because without understanding the problems, it is impossible to solve them.
1. Erectile dysfunction
“From childhood, a man is brought up as the owner of a phallus,” explains Igor Kan. — It is in his own sexual organ that he sees the proof of his existence and the main reason for being considered a man. But this position makes men extremely vulnerable. At least once in their lives, each of them experiences a failure in sex, the absence of an erection or the inability to maintain it long enough.
In 90% of cases, this happens for psychological reasons. Men experience acute shame, tend to have less sex — and this only exacerbates the problem and their own fears. How to break this vicious circle?
“Sometimes medications and the support of a psychotherapist can help with this,” Igor Kan believes. “But the mood of the man himself is no less important. He needs to focus on pleasing the woman.» Only in this way can he convince his partner that she remains beautiful and desirable. And this will help restore mutual trust and gradually find a rhythm of sexual life that is optimal for both partners.
2. Premature ejaculation
“Every third man suffers from premature ejaculation, which occurs immediately before penetration or immediately after it,” says Igor Kan. The problem may arise due to the fact that the partners simply did not have time to “feel” each other and adjust to the general rhythm. Irregular sex also increases a man’s hyperexcitability. But more often, premature ejaculation is associated with the first sexual experience.
“At the stage of puberty, sexual relations are difficult to control,” continues Igor Kan. — And there is a rapid ejaculation. And when the body gets used to it, a physiological conditioned reflex is formed.
An unpleasant relationship arises: the more a man experiences because of the haste of his own orgasm, the more he strains, only accelerating his onset. As in the case of erectile dysfunction, men tend to increase the intervals between sexual acts in such a situation or even avoid sex altogether. But this can lead to impotence rather than a solution to the problem.
The first step towards overcoming difficulties can be the willingness to acknowledge and discuss them.
3. Penis size
Too small a penis is a classic male fear. Neither convincing evidence that there is a direct connection between the size of the penis and the pleasure received by a woman, nor the scientifically proven fact that women have high sensitivity only the entrance to the vagina — the labia and clitoris, where the nerve endings are concentrated, does not help to dispel it. And even statistics confirming that the average length of an erect penis does not exceed 15 centimeters.
Men still continue to worry, and modern medicine helpfully offers them new ways to increase the length and diameter of the penis. Watching porn can also do a disservice.
“A man prone to doubts will naturally be disappointed in his own parameters, comparing himself with porn heroes,” states Igor Kan. “He begins to get hung up on size, resorts to surgical operations … But if the psychological problem becomes serious enough, contacting a psychotherapist, not a surgeon, can really help in such a situation.”