Three lessons from the Dalai Lama

This 4-day meeting took place at the end of summer in New Delhi (India). It was attended by Russian scientists and Buddhist monks who are engaged in serious research in the field of philosophy, psychology and brain sciences.

The Dalai Lama himself spent two days with us, and the communication was structured as follows: he made a short speech, then we talked about the achievements of Russian specialists, and the Dalai Lama asked questions and commented.

This format did not provide for private conversations and any personal questions, but I undoubtedly got a new experience for myself, which can be formulated in the form of three life lessons.

Lesson 1: Be yourself

I was expecting a meeting with some sacred figure, a spiritual leader, from whom you involuntarily expect that he will put himself above mere mortals. But in fact, I met a very lively person, inquisitive, cheerful and completely devoid of consciousness of his own significance.

The Dalai Lama certainly knows how to control his emotions, but in dialogue he does not restrain spontaneous reactions. For example, he likes to joke — he jokes and he himself is the first to laugh.

When he left us at three o’clock in the afternoon, because he had many hours of meditation at three o’clock in the morning, he explained this very touchingly: «Forgive me, I have to leave you, I am an elderly person.»

He behaved with us on an equal footing, was included in the discussion every minute, asked unexpected and precise questions. So what happened was not a formal exchange of views, but a truly lively dialogue.

He interacted marvelously with the most senior member of our delegation, the 88-year-old philosopher David Dubrovsky. It was not easy for Tom to participate in the dialogue without knowing English. But the Dalai Lama took an immediate liking to him.

When we were introduced, he immediately went up to David Izrailevich and touched his forehead — such a sweet, informal gesture. And these two days the Dalai Lama took care of David Izrailevich: he took him by the arm and led him to dinner, seated him next to him. In a word, he emphasized his sympathy in every possible way. He probably saw in the philosopher a respectable man who had experienced a lot, and it seemed to him important to give him special attention.

I think that such natural mannerisms, spontaneity, authenticity of the Dalai Lama are the result, among other things, of many years of spiritual practices, meditations, in which a great place is given to reflections on the world and the other person.

And besides, it is, of course, his personal choice and conscious position — to be involved in all living things. To feel like a part of the world — no less and no more, but the same as any other part.

The Dalai Lama’s style of behavior has become the quintessence of what I ideally expect from the people with whom I associate.

Lesson 2: Helping others live better lives

The well-being of one and all is the dominant life of the Dalai Lama. In his opening speech, he spoke not so much about science as about compassion, caring for others, a sense of gratitude. His top priority is that the people you interact with now, and ideally humanity, feel better overall.

It does not matter at all what their views and what they believe. Whatever topics we touched on at the meetings — the work of the brain, the nature of personality, the concept of consciousness — all this, one way or another, taxied to the problems of subjective well-being.

For the Dalai Lama, this is definitely the vanishing point for all the disparate scientific information and points of view that he collects. Abstract knowledge is not interesting to him. In any information, he searches for and highlights what is related to one problem: how to make people live better?

Actually, he lives in accordance with his convictions. As soon as he learns about a serious problem somewhere in the world, say, a natural disaster, he immediately gets up and goes, despite his age. He always appears where he is needed.

The monks told us that recently there was a flood somewhere, many children were left without parents, and the Dalai Lama spent an hour with some child. I felt that this particular child needed it at that very moment. At the same time, an hour is a rather large period of time for a person whose days are scheduled by the minute for many years to come.

In general, the conclusion is clear: a person in itself should be more valuable, above the daily turnover. I don’t always remember it, I don’t always live like this, but I would like to.

My day is also scheduled: work, meetings, urgent trips, and here there is a person nearby, close or not very close, with whom I now need to be. And this “need to stay” is lost in the flow of affairs.

How to prioritize? How to stop and think, why am I more important? In one place I am in demand as a function, a specialist, a responsible person, and in another — as a person who is able to listen, take pity, be near and hold hands.

And in this sense, the Dalai Lama is incredibly admirable. For him, any person with whom he communicates is the closest person. The same as others, but at the moment especially in need of his attention and complicity.

Lesson 3: Stay Interested in Learning

Despite his advanced age and a huge number of responsibilities, the Dalai Lama does not lose interest in those scientific knowledge that can serve to solve the problem mentioned above.

The idea itself — to come to Delhi specifically to meet with some Russian scientists, listen to them with burning eyes, delve into the topics of reports, discuss — this, in general, is a bright indicator.

It would seem, why would a religion that lives by the dogmas of the millennium need some kind of science? But the spiritual leader believes that it is necessary to explore the world in all directions — physics, biology, psychology …

For more than 20 years he has been conducting dialogues with Western scientists about the nature of consciousness and how the brain works. He sends monks to study in America, and they not only study there, but also establish research centers.

Tatyana Vladimirovna Chernigovskaya, who also came to this meeting, asked him: “What if scientists get data that contradicts the postulates of Buddhism?”

To which the Dalai Lama either jokingly or seriously replied: “So we will change the postulates of Buddhism.”

How to maintain such an openness to new experience, such an interest in learning? I have to work on this. In some situations, I already feel my limits: something seems curious, but I pass by.

This is due to the need to constantly make choices, with a lack of time. How does the Dalai Lama manage not to pass by? It is impossible to understand.

Of course, the positive effect of meditation practices in managing behavior and attention, controlling emotions and stress has long been proven. But how these techniques work and what exactly they rebuild in a person is still not completely clear.

I hope we will have the opportunity to study these issues better in Buddhist monasteries — at a meeting in New Delhi, we had a preliminary agreement on cooperation.