Three cures for irritability

Resentment does not just cause strong negative emotions. She undermines our “immunity of happiness”, destroying the “cells of calmness”, Bill Apablaza poetically formulates and prescribes everyone three pills for touchiness and irritability. Attention: overdose is impossible.

Tablet number 1. Don’t get mad at what you can’t change

It’s not so much a cure as a fact which we must accept. The world doesn’t get any better from our negativity. Often we mistake our indignation for actively intervening in a situation. It’s as if the very fact of being annoyed makes us more empathic and caring. After all, being indignant at the actions of others, we feel to some extent the standard of justice. In other words, we are trying to justify our anger.

For example, naughty children annoy you. Or reckless drivers. Or young men who do not give way to pregnant women in transport. But your emotions about this change nothing if you do not express your position.

If you are not ready to raise other people’s children, fight arbitrariness on the roads or teach adult passengers the mind-reason, it is better to stop boiling over. Don’t waste your nerve cells worrying about what you can’t change or don’t intend to change.

Tablet number 2. Stop looking for reasons for irritation and resentment

He who seeks will always find. Sometimes all day long we are in an excited state and just waiting for someone else to spoil our already bad mood even more. And sometimes a negative attitude becomes a habit.

Fortunately, habits can be changed. We can consciously adjust our view of the world. Instead of feeling that everyone is opposed, imagine that others wish well or, at worst, are indifferent.

You can thank a naughty child for reminding us how difficult it can be to control our impulses. And another insolent man who pretended to be sleeping in front of a pregnant woman in the subway – for a lesson in attention to others. You can find words of gratitude for everyone who annoys us. They are our teachers, albeit on the contrary.

Tablet number 3. Allow others to be themselves

This pill is hard to swallow, but the reality is this: usually no one wants to intentionally offend or humiliate us. They do so based on their life experience and current circumstances, you have nothing to do with it. Yes, people can be unreasonable, defiant, irresponsible and fall short of our standards. But we do not always meet someone’s high requirements. We also ignore other people’s calls, arrive late, forget friends’ birthdays, speak too loudly or too quietly, break rules, and fail to take hints.

We all need space to be ourselves. We are not always on top, we have bad days and good days. But we are working on our weaknesses. The more we learn to put things in perspective, the more tolerant we become of people, and the less they anger and annoy us. This is not an easy process, but it changes the perception of the world. You give more freedom not only to others, but also to yourself. And what could be more beautiful than freedom?