Contents
This is how the «Honjok» is practiced, the art of living in solitude
Tips
They say that learning to live alone is an art. That loneliness, many times chosen, it can be a pleasure. For this reason, although there are those who do not see themselves capable of going to the cinema alone, or going on a trip unaccompanied, those who do often find it an unknown virtue. We live in a world where loneliness is the order of the day. Even hyperconnected, many times we live day to day in solitude, and nothing happens. Because the historical “demonization” of loneliness is a thing of the past and we are living more and more at peace with the idea of, for a while, or a time, being our only company.
From this idea part “Honkok: the art of living in solitude” (Dome Books), a book in which its author, Francie Healey, explore the idea of lack of companionship and he comes to fruition with it because, as he clarifies, we live lives in which being alone is a “trend” and nothing happens. “Honjok”, the term that gives the book its name, is a way, in South Korean, to call those who identify themselves as loners. For this reason, throughout the pages of the book, Healey explores the idea of this loneliness, raises strategies to learn to be alone, and gives advice to be able to make plans without company and that does not involve a world.
The first thing the author wonders is the following: “Is being alone the same as feeling alone?”. It is already known that many times we are alone even surrounded by a multitude of people. “Whether loneliness makes us feel comfortable or uncomfortable, being alone is a state of mind,” explains the author, who goes on to explain that for some being alone is an opportunity to reflect, while for others being alone is equivalent to not being worthy of company and therefore fear stillness. “That is the key: being alone is a choice; loneliness, no », specify.
How to “deal with loneliness”
If what we feel is loneliness, and not pleasure in the state, we must work to feel comfortable, since many times there is no other option but to do without company. To “treat loneliness”, the author leaves some recommendations in the book:
– Must gain confidence in ourselves learning how to better interact with us.
– We can “Create” social interactions signing up for classes or being part of local groups.
– We can volunteer: we will not only meet new people, but we will help others, a very beneficial activity for us.
A journey towards “self-reflection”
Living alone is, Francie Healey points out, “quite a journey of self-reflection.” Therefore, it is important to do a process in which, coming to fruition with the idea of being alone, we are able to set limits and direct our lives in an authentic and meaningful way.
If we make this “journey”, and we can accept loneliness, we can have a life of the most fulfilling. The author summarizes the ideas of her book in a simple concept: being a “loner” is not the same as being a “honjok.” He explains it in a simple way, since, while the former are those who feel rejected by society, suffer from their loneliness, and are secluded and introverted, the “honjok” are those who enjoy taking time for themselves, they always enjoy company, extroverted or introverted, and focus on self-satisfaction as a way to prosper.