Contents
This explains why the figure of the best friend is so important
Psychology
The figure of the best friend is a very important part of our emotional and affective development.
When we are young, teenagers, or even older, our eyes shine more when we talk about our best friend. A person for whom we normally feel devotion (reciprocal, of course) and whom we always refer to with pride. That connection of affection that you can feel for someone is very special; He is the person to whom we tell how we feel, whom we unconditionally support and have the best time. But, there comes a time when we can feel that the ‘best friend’ idea is a bit out of date: as we grow up we meet more people, and there are those who find it difficult to gather that feeling of friendship in a single person.
Since we are little we give great importance to the figure of the best friend. “People say that friends are the family you choose. With friends, reciprocity and acceptance are experienced for the first time: we feel appreciation and affection towards a person and they respond with the same affection, appreciation or complicity ”, explains Beatriz Ostalé, a psychologist at the Virtus Group. In the earliest stage of life, friendship ties are essential, as they are what begin to shape us as people. It is in adolescence, as Ángel Luis Guillén, director of the Psicopartner Psychology Center, explains, when the concept of ‘best friend’ takes on greater relevance. «It is a difficult stage of reaffirmation of the personality where there is a separation of the parents. In this process, the best friend becomes a true emotional support, they fill the affective void that arises from that sense of misunderstanding of adults, “says the professional.
A best friend out of inertia?
As we grow older, a phenomenon that occurs frequently is that we consider that person whom we have known since childhood as our best friend. Is there times that the term is used for inertia? Ángel Luis Guillén comments that we can have one ‘souvenir friendship‘, where there is nothing to unite us with that best childhood friend; There are no longer common interests, “there is not even that understanding and support that existed in the past.” “There are times when only past experiences and memories remain, which is what makes that relationship continue to be maintained,” says the psychologist. On the other hand, Beatriz Ostalé points out that we are facing a term that is very widespread socially. “The fact that a best friend identifies with the person who has been your first friendship has to do with this early need for acceptance and socio-affective reciprocity with an equal,” he says.
Is finding friends like finding a partner?
If when we are looking for a partner, chemistry and harmony are essential factors to end up ‘fitting in’, it is the same with friends. «When you meet someone, the first thing that appears is a affinity that arises between both and that it seems that it comes from a similarity in social characteristics, values, attitudes that manage to reduce cognitive dissonance ”, points out Ángel Luis Guillén, director of the Center for Psychology Psicopartner. However, he also ensures that in some cases this harmony also appears in the difference; a complementarity of oneself is sought. “We would look for in the best friend the qualities that we perceive that we lack and that his company makes us feel complete and safe,” he assures.
For her part, Beatriz Ostalé, a psychologist at the Virtus Group, comments that one of the similarities between finding a partner or a best friend is that a relationship is created hierarchically above the rest. “The bond that is created with the couple is placed above other bonds, that of a best friend as well,” he says.
Likewise, it is interesting to analyze the role played by the figure of the best friend in our life, because somehow it makes us feel safer. “One of the main functions that ‘best friends’ have is that they act as protective factors against adverse events or where great vulnerability appears”, explains Ángel Luis Guillén, who adds that they offer us emotional security and protection, and makes the person feels understood and understood in the most difficult moments.
Can you have more than one best friend?
On the other hand, when we grow up, the concept of a best friend is somehow blurred, and we can ‘have’ more than one. «It is difficult to describe general criteria to determine what is a best friend and therefore if I have one or more best friends. For a person it may be that there is a group of best friends », says Beatriz Ostalé. The Psicopartner professional points out that having a best friend is not a simple or easy task, as it requires an intention and effort from both to keep that affective relationship alive. “It does not have to be totally exclusive, that is, if it is possible, although not easy, to have more than one best friend,” he says.
En general, having a best friend is highly beneficial for us. «It is about a person who positively reinforces the identity of the person, there is an acceptance of how they are, with their strengths and weaknesses, beliefs, ideas and interests are shared, and they are a source of help and emotional support throughout the life. life ”, explains Ángel Luis Guillén. In addition, Beatriz Ostalé adds that learning to maintain relationships based on equality, respect and loyalty, as in the case of friendships, is a great advantage and a good fortune. “It can even be a protective factor against suffering from certain ailments at a psychological level,” concludes the professional.