Contents
This can help us value the good at Christmas more.
Psychology
Despite the fact that these holidays are being very atypical, Easter is an engine for reconciliations, being in solidarity and valuing the good we have in our lives
We all agree that we are living the Most atypical Christmas of our lives. Taking into account the personal adversities that we may have had at other times around this time, these holidays have something in common for all of us: they are not even remotely similar to those of previous years.
The arrival of Coronavirus At the beginning of 2020, it disrupted the plans of the majority: that if weddings were canceled, trips that could not be carried out or the eternal distance from our loved ones during the confinement lasted for Covid-19 They have made this year one of the most difficult. However, worst of all are the losses we have suffered … And we are not talking about the
economic, that also, but of all the relatives, friends, acquaintances and acquaintances who have said goodbye to us.
Christmas has a component of sadness that you have to learn to manage. This year, the majority of Christmas tables will have a space that will remain empty, either by complying with the rules of not being more than six or ten people or by the death of one of the members. And nothing happens because we live these dates differently. The psychologist Marián Rojas says that there is a «general obsession with being happy» and it seems that we have an obligation demanded by society to show ourselves happy, to show that nothing affects us, that there is no suffering …
“Suddenly we are approached with books, podcasts, videos… that constantly talk about finding happiness. I believe that happiness is a very difficult concept to achieve in this life, if not practically impossible, “says the psychologist. In fact, the title of one of his books, “How to make good things happen to you”, is not something accidental: “It is very well thought out because I did not want to put the word happiness. For me it is not defined, it is experienced. They are moments in which you connect with the good things that happen on a day-to-day basis. Life is dramaHe has suffering, he has a feeling of sadness, anguish … and we cannot hide those emotions, ”says Dr. Rojas.
What should you value
If you’ve lost someone, this is a good time to remind them. On these dates the people who have left are more present in our minds. It is a moment to remember them without being something dramatic, without obsessing over all these days, “says Dr. Marián Rojas, who has developed a series of tricks so that these Easter be a moment of conciliation.
Try that consumption is not unhealthy. “It seems that sometimes you have to give gifts to make and spend money on purchases. Many times a phrase, a letter, a Christmas postcard is much more beautiful and costs much less », explains Marián Rojas-Estapé.
You have to make sense of Christmas. «There is enthusiasm, affection, solidarity and we must not forget that at Christmas one seeks to make others happy, to connect with the interior and with the essence of things. At Christmas many people forgive each other, they reconcile, ”he says.
Avoid conflicts. «If you have to share space with a person who has made your life impossible, have a cordial treatment. Do not get involved in conflict issues, focus on the people you love the most, “advises the expert.
Moments of solitude
It’s important to have on mind the meaning that is given to these dates and how spending it with much less people than we are used to or even alone can affect us. “It is important to protect ourselves and find a (different) way to obtain from these dates what we previously obtained: love, affection, illusion and sharing”, says Dr. Montse Marsà from Mundopsicologos.com.
Being with less company or alone on days when everyone is surrounded by loved ones is more distressing than any other day. Montse Marsà explains that Christmas is socially associated with a time to be with family, to meet again with people we have not seen for a long time, even to make trips for the occasion, hugs, parties, with large banquets and after-dinner meals, and what happens at the psychologist level is that it leads us to be part of a group, to Put aside disputes and share.
«In addition, the illusion of preparing for the holidays and getting ready for the occasion is something that mobilizes and motivates us. However, the loneliness that some people may feel at this time can also be done bigger and open wounds that on other dates may not be so present. Being alone can cause grief, sadness, feel vulnerable and feel outside of what other people are supposed to be experiencing. This feeling of feeling outside can aggravate their feeling of loneliness and can lead them to suffer or aggravate some type of psychological disorder, ”says Dr. Montse Marsà.