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Dates excite, scare, inspire and unnerve. They do not always bear the burden of our expectations and give rise to hours of painful introspection. They become the foundation of family life or … a tombstone on a newly born relationship.
Complicating the problem is that our expectations about a romantic meeting are sometimes very different from the expectations of a partner. This was shown by a survey conducted in more than 25 cities around the world*. 28% of dates are disappointing and only 12% develop into a serious relationship. An obstacle to the second meeting in 64% of cases is the partner’s bad breath, and in 57% of cases, the discrepancy between the real appearance of the companion and his photo portrait in the social network profile.
But there are other interesting facts.
1. We consider ourselves more attractive than our partners.
The researchers asked participants to rate attractiveness—their own and that of their partner—on a scale of 0 to 10. The results showed that we are all extremely self-confident. The average score that the participants gave themselves was 7,3 points, while the partner received only 6,5 points. Residents of Los Angeles value themselves above all – by 8 points. They seem to automatically classify themselves as Hollywood stars.
2. The biggest don juans are men from Hong Kong
Another question: how many partners do you meet at the same time? Even in metropolitan areas like New York or London, where mobile apps like Tinder have made it much easier to find people who want to meet you, people have been pretty conservative in their responses. On average, we meet with one to three partners at once. The exception was the men from Hong Kong: their norm is four love stories that develop in parallel. That’s who you should learn the science of planning and time management from!
3. Narcissistic men demand loyalty.
How quickly do you expect to transition your romantic relationship to exclusive status? On average, after six dates – this is the opinion of the majority of respondents. But not the men of Los Angeles. They value themselves so highly (see point 1) that they insist on their partner’s devotion after the fourth date! Alas, their intentions do not find support from the fair sex: residents of LA (apparently due to the same high self-esteem) just prefer an open relationship, at least until the eighth date. When there is no agreement among comrades…
4. Magic number THREE
It is not known where this “rule of the third date” came from, but for some reason many men take it as an axiom: if sex did not happen during the third meeting, the relationship can end. The strangest thing is that women are ready to follow this prejudice, which is confirmed by the results of the study: the majority of respondents around the world are really convinced that the third (more precisely, 3,53) date with a partner gives a green light to the way to the bedroom. Everyone – but not New Yorkers, because …
5. The number three is not for New York women!
Did you think that all the joggers in Central Park were as liberated and devoid of prejudice as the heroines of “Sex and the City”? In vain. New Yorkers are even more conservative than Londoners, who are historically distant: they delay the decision to get a partner into bed from the third or fourth date (average 3,57) to the fourth or fifth (average 4,61). However, how productive such a delay is in creating a strong relationship, we do not yet know.
* The international study, conducted by Time Out magazine, involved men and women from more than 24 cities around the world, including London, Paris, New York, Beijing, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Melbourne, Singapore and Sydney (our compatriots did not participate).