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It is probably impossible to completely avoid stress in our age of speeds and loads, but everyone can reduce their impact. After all, nature has a powerful positive potential in us, explains doctor and psychotherapist Thierry Jansen.
Psychologies : Why do we regularly feel stressed nowadays?
Thierry Jansen : Modern society is based on the principles of hedonism and materialism, and this is why we often confuse the concept of happiness with pleasure and comfort. Therefore, we do everything to avoid discomfort. We produce and consume a lot to protect ourselves, entertain and soothe. It makes us live in constant tension. Moreover, there is a phenomenon called “hedonic adaptation” (when we get used to what we have and stop enjoying it), due to which we can never be completely satisfied. This is a vicious circle. Having become accustomed to comfort, we endure obstacles and obstacles with increasing difficulty. We consider ourselves omnipotent and are willing to do anything to be so. The price we pay for this is the chronic stress we experience.
And yet we have to deal with many situations that cause a lot of stress …
T. Ya. : Yes it is. But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. The first thing to do is to ask ourselves if the difficult situation we find ourselves in is really related to our immediate needs. If we are honest with ourselves, we will see that we often force ourselves to experience unnecessary stress. And even when we do find ourselves in difficult circumstances, we always have the freedom to choose how we deal with them. Just as a test of strength, or, on the contrary, as an opportunity to learn something, grow, develop your potential? This is what recent work in the field of positive psychology, which studies the conditions of our well-being and all-round development, teaches us.
Read more:
- Thierry Jansen: “Optimism protects the body”
How to be able to look at the situation from the side at a time when we are overwhelmed by negative emotions that accompany stress?
T. Ya. : American psychologist Barbara Fredrickson* showed how negative emotions (I prefer to call them unpleasant) – fear, anxiety or anger – play a key role in our survival in a stressful situation, since they allow us to immediately respond to it. However, such tension of the body, which accompanies these emotions, should not last too long. Otherwise, the body exhausts its resources, the immune defense is reduced, and we get sick. Fortunately, each of us is able to look at the situation from the outside, so that positive emotions, such as joy or enthusiasm, can also arise. Barbara Fredrickson has shown that they trigger the imagination and help find long-term solutions. In addition, they make us more attractive to other people, which is very valuable: it will be easier for us to get help from them in difficult situations.
So positive emotions help to overcome the effects of stress in the long run?
T. Ya. : Yes, they help to avoid chronic stress. It is beneficial for us in every way to cultivate these pleasant emotions.
And how to cultivate them?
T. Ya. : One of the pioneers of positive psychology, Martin Seligman (Martin Seligman) ** identified three main tools that most of us resort to to enhance pleasant emotions. First of all, we must learn to savor pleasure: to slow down the pace of our work, not to succumb to impulses to be distracted by vain activities, of which we always have a lot. You need to take time to fully enjoy the joy of achieving what you want, to feel the satisfaction of the choice made. And also stop wanting more all the time, make your life easier and do the main thing.
But it’s not all that easy…
T. Ya. : Yes, that’s right. But this is only the first condition for what Seligman calls “genuine happiness.” The second most important means is to fully immerse yourself in activities that enrich our lives, in order to experience what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “the state of flow, optimal experience” ***. At the same time, we are completely absorbed in what we do, and we get great pleasure from it. You just have to not allow yourself to be distracted (after all, there are always many reasons that prevent us from focusing on the current moment!) And pay all your attention to the actual lesson, without thinking about its benefits, profit, or efficiency. Personally, I experience similar pleasure when I dance, draw, or practice qigong.
So, in order to reduce stress, we need to include pleasure in our lives?
T. Ya. : Not only. The third way to achieve contentment is probably the most important: find meaning for yourself. We are driven by two primary needs: the need for pleasure, which drives us to perform a series of vital actions, and the need for meaning, which allows us to avoid feeling absurd in the face of existential chaos. Finding meaning in what we do or experience allows us to feel in control of the course of events, it protects us from feeling powerless, which is precisely what leads to severe stress. It would be impossible to live without giving your life a certain direction and meaning.
Read more:
- How to help study without stress
But how to do it, where to start to find this meaning?
T. Ya. : We have significant positive potential. The challenge is to recognize this potential and manifest it in your actions. This is the best way to give meaning to your life. Even Spinoza noted that it is better to teach the virtues than to fight the vices. In 2005, researchers in the field of positive psychology proposed a “classification of strengths and virtues” **** of a person, compiled on the basis of psychological, philosophical, sociological, anthropological literature and even folk songs. This revealed to us the extent of our positive potential, which consists of at least 24 major forces, such as creativity, curiosity, sound mind, perseverance, prudence, sincerity, kindness, mercy, gratitude, humility. Each of them is a real cure for stress.
How to develop and manifest this potential of merit?
T. Ya. : The Stoic philosophers recommended creating an “internal fortress” in order to sufficiently step back from the situation, calm down and be able to freely choose for what values we act, what meaning we give to our existence. Buddhists teach how to equip this “inner space” by meditating with full awareness. Numerous studies show that such meditation can change the way our brain reacts to stressful situations. This practice will allow us, when faced with frustration or difficulties, to experience less unpleasant emotions and more pleasant ones, this will help us find better solutions to our problems, which means that we will not be stressed for so long.
It seems like magic – is it really possible in reality, in our overloaded daily life?
T. Ya. : Today we know that regular, at least 10 minutes a day, meditation in full consciousness can achieve the effect that I talked about. So the whole point is to follow your intentions exactly with regard to this practice. You need to learn to tune your attention to the current moment, not allowing yourself to be distracted by thoughts about the past and the future. Everyone can find their own way to achieve this. When I was little, my mother used to knit while sitting in front of the TV. It was her way of creating space for herself and calming down. We have a choice: let ourselves be carried away by the flow of efficiency, omnipotence and hyperactivity, or take a step aside, stop and rest in order to decide what goals and what rhythm of life we will set for ourselves. We are free in this choice. The main thing is to deal with it. It is important to remember that we are largely responsible for ourselves, that we can respond to pressures, tensions and frustrations, showing the best that we have. We have far more resources than we imagine. I think the time has come to reconsider and evaluate our positive potential.
Read more:
- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”
* B. Fredrickson (Positivity) (B. Fredrickson “Positivity”, Crown Archetype, 2009).
** M. Seligman “The path to prosperity. A New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being” (Mann, Ivanov & Ferber, 2013).
*** M. Csikszentmihalyi “In Search of the Flow. Psychology of involvement in everyday life” (Alpina non-fiction, 2013).
**** viacharacter.org