She feels sorry for the dog, and so does the child. And a 37-year-old woman? She is already on. Still childless. In this country, the desire to be healthy as an adult is only justified if you do it for children.
- After the fall, Marta Potężna began to suffer from excruciating leg pains. Before a proper diagnosis was made, she had undergone a series of often unnecessary surgeries
- Her disease, algodystrophy, causes great pain, and also stops the supply of oxygen to the sore limb, the body gets rid of it
- She says the doctors gave her all the opiates they could possibly have, but she’s had enough. It does not want to be treated like a garbage can into which everything that falls under your arm is thrown.
It was a collapse that happens to millions of people. The world of sick people, those with disabilities, was an abstraction for me, although I conducted classes in hippotherapy and I had contact with such people. I practiced a lot, I was a horse riding and fitness yoga instructor. I am sick? In life. Yet the pain said otherwise.
Nobody took me seriously. My accident wasn’t spectacular enough. “Madam, nothing serious can happen at home” – I heard in many doctor’s offices. I did not know where to go, who to seek help from.
It got worse and worse. I was lying on the couch, I wanted to get up and my legs refused to obey. The pain was such that I bit my fists and yelled at the pillow. I tried to get up and persuaded myself that it would be fine because I had dozens of injuries so this time it will be as always, but it was not, and I did not know why and I was terrified because no one could give me a professional answer.
On the edge
In the end, the doctors decided: surgery. It was supposed to be great and it still wasn’t. During the next one, they missed something again, then it was three, up to seven to fix what theoretically did not go to the previous ones. I was on the verge of collapse.
I don’t think anyone has bad intentions. I only regret that no one sat down with me, did not explain how many tissues will heal, why it hurts, what to do next. He did not make sure that all the documentation was filled in exactly.
To go to court? I have no strength, no money. I was bothering about medical marijuana. And it turned out so much that I can use it, but no one will give me money for it. I decided to do it and so only because the Helsinki Foundation for Human Rights wanted to help.
This form of self-harm
At the beginning of the disease, I had to sell my beloved horse, because the medical consultation and treatment turned out to be a bottomless piggy bank. On top of that, there was a divorce, a move and the worst of it was the lack of recovery and unbearable pain.
The depression hit hard because it all fell on me and I was completely alone in it. The doctor struck a huge amount of psychotropics. My hands and face twisted, I was not able to think logically and also the hospital and everything at once. Unfortunately, the physical problems did not go away.
The correct diagnosis appeared only after a year and a half. Algodystrophy. It means my nervous system is overactive. This form of self-harm. The limb receives less and less blood, the body “cuts it off”. Before he kills her, it’s pain. It hurts all the time.
When there is stress, the weather turns bad or I touch hard material it becomes unbearable. It’s cold and humid today. Normally I would lie down and howl at the wall. I have eaten my medication to hold on to and sit with you.
experimental rabbit
Pain relief? Friends from other countries help. Because I can’t get marijuana, and I don’t want to be on strong opiates all the time. Already the medical teams pressed them all in turn. I had all the possible side effects. This drug is not working? You will try another, you have not taken this yet. Man is not a garbage can.
There is a facility where they can do surgery with a good chance of a cure. I wanted to start a cross-border treatment procedure. It took two years to assemble the physicians’ council. And again they started pushing me more tablets and they did not offer anything concrete, on the contrary. And I don’t want to be a guinea pig in this country anymore. Enough.
I will not pay myself for this operation. You need almost half a million zlotys. I try to collect for it, but it doesn’t go easy. You know it is so sorry for the spoil, for the child too. And a 37-year-old woman? She is already on. Still childless. In this country, the desire to be healthy as an adult is only justified if you do it for children.
Partial death
I am sorry when people say: “it’s fun, you don’t have to work, you live there somehow”. My dream is to be able to work for 8 hours. Then jump into fitness and drop by the stables. Anyway, how cool? Being in pain is fun? It’s fun to beg for help?
I know that sometimes someone I know or doctors see me moving somehow, they hear that I make sentences meaningfully and something does not suit them. After all, when you are sick you have to cry all the time, make a drama. If you are a woman, you should also not take care of yourself. And I like to paint my nails, wrap my hair up and feel normal.
These are the things that keep me afloat somehow. You know, you lie in bed for a few days, you sink into it, you bury yourself to escape the thought that the life you had will no longer be there. And then you get up, tidy up, and try to do your best. It restores my own humanity for me.
Because it is so, not only does pain take away peace, but also dignity. Makes you want to stay awake sometimes. Apart from pain, I am afraid of total disability and dependence on others. I already know what it feels like when your body is dead. A feeling of helplessness, helplessness and insecurity is my everyday life. Our country does not want to take these fears off my shoulders. But despite this burden, I will not give up.
If you want to help, you can do so by going to the Avalon Foundation website. After you enter the site “Marta Potężna” detailed instructions will be displayed on what to do.