They know how to find the right words

A documentary filmmaker, a school teacher and an endocrinologist surgeon told us about their relationship with truth and the role it plays in their daily work.

In the work of each of them, the word is a very important tool. The doctor informs the patient about a serious illness; the teacher establishes contact with students, maintaining a distance; the director with his films helps us to understand our life … They know how to communicate carefully and honestly, but at the same time remain themselves. Is there a limit to their truth?

SOMETIMES THE ABILITY TO PRESENT YOUR TRUTH CAREFULLY AND OPENLY, WITHOUT HIDING BEHIND WORDS AND WITHOUT CHANGING YOURSELF, IS A PART OF THE PROFESSION.

This question is very important to them. “I do not hide my convictions and political views, but a lesson is a lesson,” says Alexei Kuznetsov, a teacher of history and social studies. “If a student asks about my position after the lesson and I know that my answer will be correctly understood and will not harm him – he, not me, this is important – I will answer.” Informing patients of a difficult diagnosis, Irina Kotova, an endocrinologist surgeon, during a conversation talks more not about the disease, but about what opportunities there are to defeat it. In documentaries that expose the reality of our time, director Elena Pogrebizhskaya does not show shocking footage for ethical reasons. Her goal is to help her heroes. “Thanks to my films, someone lived a little longer, someone found a cure, someone got money … And a film about the life of orphans in an ordinary boarding school caused a big stir, and the government promised to change the legislation on orphans.” The most important connection between people is built through words. It is fragile because it is woven from emotions, fear, mistrust. Therefore, we have to make compromises, leave something behind the scenes …

“Often the question is not whether to tell the truth or not, but how to tell it,” comments existential psychotherapist Svetlana Krivtsova. – Mark Twain wrote that the truth should be told the way a coat is served, and not thrown in the face like a wet towel. You need to speak slowly, not formally, respecting the one who stands in front of you. And having enough self-confidence to dare bold, painful or shockingly frank words.

“I say what I think and what I believe”

“A documentary is not a fixation of reality. This is, firstly, a work of art, and secondly, exclusively by the author. That is still a conditional reality. And so, the conditional truth. If I, as an author, build my coordinates in the film – where is good and where is evil – this does not mean at all that everyone will think the same way as I do. Especially those who, from my point of view, are on the side of evil. In films, I do not show everything that was filmed. For ethical reasons – as in reports about the war they do not show the dead close-up … In addition, not everything that I see as a professional can be sustained by the viewer. I think there are people who are not ready to see the truth at all. But I do not care for the viewer – life is not sugar at all. And is there any point in avoiding it?

Probably, I am included in a small percentage of people who have lied minimally in their lives. It dawned on me as a child that it is beneficial not to lie, because it creates a reputation. And then – I just can’t. If I’m lying, it’s so obvious that I’ll immediately get lost if you ask me at least one leading question. So it turns out I have no choice. Someone else’s opinion is less interesting to me than mine, and the main authority for me is also me. So I say what I think and do what I believe. Although I receive a lot of criticism for my films – once I even posted a whole selection of dissatisfied response letters on LiveJournal. So that they stop hurting me … “

* Her films “Blood Seller” (2008), “Doctor Lisa” (2009) won the TEFI award; the tape “Mom, I’ll kill you” was released in 2013.

“Students should not lie”

“Truth is important in fundamental cases. And in everyday life, I always try to focus on the circumstances and the people with whom I communicate. And quite calmly I can lie – we will consider this a form of politeness. Suppose I am offered to talk, but I believe that this conversation is not needed, and I will try to avoid it – say, for example, that I can’t today, although I could … But lying to students is completely unacceptable. There is a big risk of losing their trust. For example, I shouldn’t engage in anti-smoking propaganda: I smoke and they know about it. On the other hand, I can keep silent about something or praise the student, although I understand that he did nothing special. And it won’t be a lie. This is an attempt to give a person self-confidence. When I overestimate—and this happens—in order to value effort rather than knowledge, I will find an opportunity to explain to the student what went wrong and what needs to be improved. If I find out that the child is going to take history to a university, and he clearly lacks knowledge, I will inform him about this, having prepared an alternative for him in advance: “I was surprised when I found out that you want to enter the history department, I was sure that your element is mathematics. Such conversations can only be conducted one on one, in a friendly way – to put a hand on someone’s shoulder, to sit next to someone … And yet, the teacher does not often have to figure out how to tell the uncomfortable truth. I always have the opportunity to refuse to discuss something, and children usually perfectly understand why.

“It is important to give place to hope”

“Telling a patient for the hundredth time that they have cancer is no easier than the first. Indeed, for most people, this diagnosis sounds like a sentence. But now it has become easier – there are effective methods of treatment. Therefore, when I report a diagnosis, I am talking not only about the disease, but also about the prospects. Even before the operation, I tell you what options there are if everything turns out to be not very good. And after receiving the results of the studies, every time I scroll in my head: how to communicate the diagnosis to this particular person? People perceive unpleasant news in different ways: some are able to take any information calmly, others worry even if there is no special reason, and still others do not hear or understand anything, because they are completely closed from negative information. With such people, the most trouble: it is always difficult for me to report even once that cancer cells have been found, but what is it like to say this ten times in a row, only in different versions? And still, a person may not believe and not understand how serious it is. And then you have to use the last option – to speak directly, as they say, on the forehead. But do not scare, but insist that you need to take your health very seriously. It is important to give hope at the same time, otherwise the person will go into shock and may not want to be treated. However, I can’t say that people panic when they learn about the diagnosis. For some, on the contrary, it becomes easier. And there are those who do not come at all for the results. I recently operated on a woman and I know that if she does not take action, in six months she will be very ill. What to do: look for her to inform, or not to disturb, if that is her choice? That’s the question…”

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