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Sex is not only part of intimate life. It is everywhere: in music, advertising, films, magazines, social networks. But there are people who don’t need it. How do asexuals live?
Is the importance of sex in our lives exaggerated? At least that’s what about 1% of Britons think. They do not experience sexual desire, and no one seems attractive to them. Asexuals call their idol Sherlock Holmes. After all, he, too, was not seen in intimate relationships with either men or women. How do those who do not need it live and what do they think about sex?
Convinced asexual
Mathematician Michael Dor realized this at the age of 15. He felt different than his friends, who couldn’t handle the excess testosterone.
“They were like foreigners to me, I didn’t understand why they were so fussy. The guys asked me if I was gay or straight. But I was not attracted to either men or women, ”Michael recalls. He was not completely sure of his peculiarity at the age of 15, he thought that he had late puberty. But years passed and nothing changed.
Each person can name people whom he considers sexually unattractive. For an asexual, all people are like that
Now Michael is 35 years old, he does not have problems with erection, and he sometimes experiences physiological arousal. But it has nothing to do with attraction. He occasionally masturbates, but he says he «could do without it.»
Michael has no moral prejudices about sex, but he doesn’t see the point in it. At the same time, the thought that he can kiss someone is unpleasant to him: “What is the pleasure of exchanging saliva with another person? But perhaps this is for some reason necessary for those who are attracted.
People think that asexuality is a matter of choice, just like sexual orientation. Michael disagrees with them: “You can’t wake up and decide that now you will or will not be asexual, each person can name people whom he considers sexually unattractive. For me, all people are like that. I have never experienced attraction. I may consider a person aesthetically beautiful, but that has nothing to do with sex.”
Michael is a spokesman for a non-profit organization that unites asexual people. He and his associates organize various actions.
Asexual couple
Not everyone lives alone like Michael. Celine Hampton, a 26-year-old biochemist, has never experienced attraction. She tried to fight her peculiarity at school, where she was teased for being a virgin. At the university, she tried to start a romantic relationship, but this only led to psychological problems.
But last year, Celine met her current partner and realized that she was dreaming of a romantic relationship with this particular person.
“I have never had anything like it. My partner says that this is also the first time with him. But if we suddenly break up, I would rather live alone than start dating someone. I consider myself asexual, not heterosexual,” Celine says.
Celine admits that the more she has sex, the more she dislikes it
Partner Celine thinks the same. Nevertheless, they have been living together for a whole year. They tried to have sex and even enjoyed it. But Celine and her partner decided that they did not need him on his own. There are more interesting activities. They will only have sex if they decide to have children.
Celine admits that the more she has sex, the more it is unpleasant for her: “It is bad for my mental health, because I force myself to do what I previously considered unnatural.”
Celine believes that all asexuals are different. Do not think that they all look like the hero of The Big Bang Theory Sheldon Cooper. Celine and her partner kiss, hug and hold hands. They even sleep in the same bed. They support each other, and their families are happy that young people are together.