“They beat me on the hands with a ruler”: how learning turns into torment

bad memory

“The teacher started yelling at me as soon as I made a mistake. This made me even more confused, she became more annoyed and began to yell. I can still burst into tears as soon as they raise their voices at me, ”recalls Lilya, 38 years old.

“In music, for mistakes, they simply silently beat me on the hands with a ruler. Only a few years later it dawned on me that this should not be so at all!” — Anna, 22 years old.

“Everything was simple – when the teacher in the “musical room” ran out of patience (and two or three of my mistakes were enough for her), she could abruptly close the piano lid. Right on my fingers,” Semyon, 23.

“The gymnastics coach could just take me by the shoulders and shake me with all his might if something pissed him off. It was considered normal – I think he behaved this way with everyone, ”- Marina, 35 years old.

Letter of the law

Article 48 of the Law “On Education in the Russian Federation” reads, among other things: “Pedagogical workers are obliged to comply with legal, moral and ethical standards, follow the requirements of professional ethics; respect the honor and dignity of students and other participants in educational relations. In the same set, Article 34 speaks of the rights of students to respect for human dignity, protection from all forms of physical and mental violence, insults to the person, protection of life and health.

“There is a little problem,” writes Natalya Mikhailenko-Guzhalovskaya, an English teacher. – Only public humiliation of dignity is considered an insult. And if you are one-on-one with a student (music classes, tutoring), is it possible to “walk around” here?

In our childhood, there were no psychological terms, there were no publications about this problem, the students had practically no rights. It seems that now most parents and children understand that such “learning” cannot be considered normal. But are all these violent educational methods a thing of the past?

Recently posted on Facebook¹ Natalia about violence in the learning process responded to a lot of people. “How much pain there was in the comments on my previous article (#non-educator) from people who were bullied by their teachers. They wrote mainly about music teachers and sports coaches,” says Natalia.

“Do not trust, do not fear, do not ask”

The worst thing is that parents often took and continue to take the side of teachers, do not believe the children, are not ready to hear them.

“After the parent meeting, they hit me on the back of the head and punished me “you will sit without dinner until you learn,” Igor, 36 years old.

“When I told at home that the guilty in the class are forced to put their hands on a notebook and the teacher hits them with a pointer, my mother did not believe me,” Yana, 40 years old.

“I was taken away from the music school only after I started to stutter and the speech therapist (thanks to her!) got to the bottom of the root cause. She managed to convince my parents that my psyche could not withstand such stress. And they didn’t deal with the teacher, who humiliated me and could pull my hair, ”- Madina, 20 years old.

What to do if a teacher is bullying a child

So, if a child has been subjected to psychological / physical abuse, how to treat this and what to do? Natalya Mikhailenko-Guzhalovskaya writes about what is important for parents to remember in such situations.

• Never accept the “victim is to blame” position.
• Do not look for excuses for the teacher’s behavior.

“Ah, his salary is low.” “Let at least such a teacher is better than none.” “Maybe he got sick or someone died with him” and the like. In one comment on my previous article, a woman wrote: “We should be grateful that there is a musical education. It’s a luxury.” No reason gives the right to be violent towards a child (student)!

• Further actions of adults (parents, grandmothers, guardians) depend on their goals.

But, no matter how painful it is, you don’t need to get emotionally involved, get involved in a conflict with the guilty person, or threaten him. If you want to quickly pull the child out of this horror, you can go to another teacher or to another educational institution.

A more active and responsible position is to stop this lawlessness and punish the offender. Collect evidence and contact the education department, the prosecutor’s office, and at least the director.

According to the same “Law on Education”, legal representatives have the right to protect their children by contacting the educational authorities and demanding that a trial be held against the teacher and bring him to disciplinary responsibility or dismiss him.

• Please trust and protect your children, because they are still small and cannot do it themselves.

And if the father or mother agrees with such behavior of the teacher in relation to the child, the child also accepts this and begins to think that he deserved it. You can treat him like that and, in general, children should be treated that way. After all, he unconditionally loves his parents and accepts their attitude to everything, their worldview, their silence, their humility, their cowardice.

¹ https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1081736739320584&id=100024528053123