Contents
Maintaining a long-term relationship is not always easy. Unions fall apart for a variety of reasons, but most problems can still be avoided. The main thing is not to make fatal mistakes.
1. You don’t see marriage as a partnership.
Imagine that you have your own business, which you run together with a business partner. Most likely, you make decisions together, consult with each other, exchange views, make common efforts to achieve success. Marriage is exactly the same partnership, which means that two people must work together, interact with each other, move together towards a common goal.
Alas, in most cases this is not the case. Often it is not about one common business, but about two competing companies. And the point is not that the partners must necessarily agree with each other in all matters. But they definitely should have common goals and the opportunity to discuss them, and it is important to make decisions with an eye on each other. Otherwise, the ideal solution for us may turn into a collapse for our union.
Wrong
Prioritize your own needs, forgetting what the couple needs.
Correctly
Any decision that affects both should be discussed. Sometimes someone has to give in – either you or your partner. But it is necessary for the prosperity of your common “cause”.
2. You don’t communicate with each other
In order to come to an agreement on any issues, you need to talk to each other. It would seem an obvious truth, but in many couples this moment is lame. Partners discuss everyday life – what to buy for dinner, when to give the car for inspection – but at the same time they avoid important topics. Serious questions hang in the air.
The worst symptom is when you consult with anyone other than your significant other about important decisions, and share your joys and sorrows with anyone but your partner. If you told five friends and colleagues about the promotion and only then called your wife (including because you knew that she would not understand and would not share the joy with you) – this is a bad sign.
Wrong
Do not avoid difficult topics, do not wait for problems to grow one on top of the other, like a snowball.
Correctly
Talk about everything that you experience, share with each other any thoughts and emotions. It can sometimes be difficult to start a conversation about something, especially if there is a risk of starting to “show things off”, but in the long run it will be better for your couple.
3. You are not in contact with a partner
Anything happens in life: sometimes the mood is such that you want to lie low, and then there is so much work that you can’t breathe. But neither one nor the other is a reason to “fall out” of contact with a partner.
This does not mean that you cannot be alone with yourself if you need it. But you have to invest in relationships every day, even if it’s just a little. Smile at your partner, hug him, show him how much you love him. It’s enough.
Wrong
When we cease to perceive our union as a partnership and communicate with each other, we begin to “fall out” of relationships more and more often, withdraw into ourselves or into work. Sometimes this ends with physical withdrawal – for example, partners begin to sleep separately. And even if you want to then build a bridge is very difficult.
Correctly
Even if the day is not set, show your partner that you are here, you are near, you are still close. Often relationships are not easy, and you have to make the same efforts as in a real job. But it’s worth it.