There is an inner witch in every woman.

The power is within us

Probably, every woman can remember a situation when she felt the power that awakens inside at moments when, it would seem, the vital energy has dried up and all that remains is to submit to fate. Perhaps you lived with an abuser for several months or years, but one day you realized that you couldn’t do it anymore, packed your things and left. Or they were meek and meek, and all the relatives “went” on you until you said “stop”. Or maybe one day they realized that your job was too boring, quit one day and found themselves in creativity.

The same power awakens in us when we dance at home with joy, beating the rhythm with bare feet on the floor, when in bed with a loved one we lose our heads with passion and stop thinking about what to cook for breakfast and what cellulite on the hips looks like. Or we just sing in the soul, not worrying about hitting the notes, because this voice comes from the depths of nature. This is probably the voice of the “inner witch”. And there is no devilry or esotericism here. This is a metaphor, an image that some psychotherapists use to describe the feminine energy that each of us is endowed with by nature.

It is inconvenient for others, it prevents you from being submissive and following someone else’s will. It can be uncontrollable and destructive, primarily because we rarely know how to live in harmony with it. For many centuries, men, and after them, we ourselves have struggled with it, trying to drive a part of the soul underground. In this war, women were sent to the fires of the Inquisition, locked up in monasteries as if in prison, forced to be humble and obey their parents, teachers, husband, older relatives, guardians of morality.

Many have learned to live within the limits of the roles assigned by society and have lost contact with their “witch”. She was buried under a mountain of social conventions, good manners, “correct” words. But when a part of the soul dies, we lose our balance. It is difficult for us to find harmony and make the inner world stable. It is difficult to keep personal boundaries, because it is this voice that says “no” in response to an unceremonious intrusion and can even attack.

With a half-dead soul, it is impossible to engage in creativity and fully realize oneself, because it is this energy that pushes one to search, change, rejects the boundaries that have become tight, helps to destroy the old and build the new. Is it possible to awaken your “inner witch” and make friends with her?

“Rose Marena”

Stephen King has a novel that some critics have called one of the best on The New York Times bestseller list. King himself did not consider this work an achievement. But, by his own admission, this is the case when the book “is written by itself.” A psychoanalyst would say that it is obviously about the collective unconscious. A talented writer – a man – managed to reveal a deep feminine theme.

The heroine of the novel, Rosie, lives with her psychopathic husband and dutifully endures the terrible manifestations of his cruelty. Because of the beatings, she had a miscarriage and lost her child. It seems that the woman is psychologically broken – she is shackled by fear, and escape seems impossible, because her husband works in the police, is looking for missing people and seems to his wife all-powerful and all-powerful.

But after many years of such a life, Rosie suddenly realizes that she can die, and runs away. With the help of caring people, she is trying to build a new life. The painting “Rose Madder” falls into her hands, which mystically opens the way for the heroine to a parallel world – a metaphor for the unconscious in Rosie herself.

After passing the test inside the picture, Rosie saves the child of the woman depicted in it – her double. It is this contact with her own unconscious and the symbolic reconnection with her inner child that gives the heroine the opportunity to rebuff her husband who has come to kill her. The double from the picture – the insane and mystical power of Rosa Marena, kills the tyrant.

But it is not enough to find and awaken your “inner witch”. Its power, sometimes indomitable, must be learned to manage. The heroine of the novel manages to grow a tree from a seed obtained from a double, which helps her find harmony. Likewise, for a woman who has felt this strong, sometimes insane beginning in herself, it is important to learn how to get along with him. That is, “make friends” with your witch.

“To create something new, you need to destroy the void”

Ekaterina Galkina, client-centered therapist

I like the inner witch metaphor, it gives clues about what part of our soul is. And it is in both women and men.

Let’s look directly at the image of the witch, who is she? Witches were considered women who stood apart from society, lived in harmony with nature, both external and internal. These women frightened and attracted at the same time, they knew how to heal. Possessed special knowledge and creative, in a broad sense, abilities.

Creativity is always a dialogue between creation and destruction. To create a picture, you need to destroy the white canvas; to create a song, you need to break the silence. And maybe some peace. To create something new in life, whether it is a new relationship or a new project, you need to destroy the emptiness or those obstacles that stand in the way.

However, many women have difficulty with this. You ask me why? Because good girls don’t break anything. We are all born creative, but not all of us manage to maintain good contact with our creative part. Have you ever heard such words addressed to you: “draws like a chicken with a paw”, “you better not sing, a bear stepped on your ear”? Then, most likely, you gave up the freedom to express yourself, to follow your inner impulses, to be visible. At such moments, the desire comes to keep a low profile, to be a good girl.

Anthropologist Angeles Herrien says that in some cultures people usually ask such questions: “At what point in your life did you stop singing? When did you stop dancing? When did you stop being fascinated by stories? And when did you start to feel out of place in the sweet space of silence?” Angeles Herrien says that, according to their beliefs, it was then that man began to lose his soul. In modern language, we might call it depression, loss of vitality, desolation.

Natalie Rogers, an American psychotherapist, writes: “The key to unlocking the source of our creative energy lies in the deepest acceptance of ourselves. By placing the focus of this wisdom in the hands of others, we reduce ourselves to a life whose essence will be to please others. Women kind of know how devastating that can be.”

Do you think our inner witch cares, whether others like her? I think not. What happens if we let go of control and allow ourselves to express ourselves freely? Will this lead to even more trouble? After all, we still live in a society. Of course, it is important for us to feel free and at the same time not to reject the conventions of society. But the longer and more carefully you hide your destructive impulses, the stronger they become, as in the story with Rose Madder. Only by recognizing them will we appropriate this power and be able to consciously use it for peaceful purposes.

Only unconditional acceptance of ourselves and our various impulses gives us the ability to treat others with the same acceptance. Which, in turn, makes it possible to get close to people and successfully adapt in society.

Practice 1 (long) “Collage”

We all have an understanding of who we are and what we don’t have. How can we feel the presence of our inner witch, that creative part that we hide even from ourselves? Make a collage using a magazine or even a Word document. On one sheet, write “This is me” and place pictures on it that match you. Name the other sheet “Not me” and there will be pictures that are definitely not about you. Look at what happened. Look at that sheet called “Not Me.” Let yourself be filled with the feelings that this collage evokes. Write down the feelings you are experiencing.

Practice 2 (quick) “Dance of the hands”

Here we will also use “This is me” and “This is not me.” Depict with the movements of the hands what you are (smooth movements, slow, fast). Take 1-2 minutes for this, dancing with your hands to the real you. Now do the same, but now dance “It’s not me.” This will also take a couple of minutes. Note how you felt when you danced the second dance, how different it was from what you know about yourself. What sensations remained in the body of emotions from the second dance?

Key

We are born whole, but under the pressure of society, we often hide from others and even from ourselves those parts of our soul that are objectionable to society. Pay attention to your feelings and sensations in your body when you look at the collage or dance the part called “not me.” Perhaps you will feel peace and tranquility, or vice versa energy. Let your inner witch give you a message. Write on a piece of paper the word or phrase that comes to mind when you look at a collage or do a hand dance.

What to read

Clarissa Pinkola Estes “Running with the Wolves. The female archetype in myths and legends”, Natalie Rogers “Creative connection. The healing power of the expressive arts.