There is and, moreover, there should be, psychologists say. What is clinical perfectionism, why is it dangerous and why does it occur, the psychotherapist explains.
Evgenia is seventeen, she is a beautiful girl, but this is not enough for her. For two years now, she has been striving for one goal: to become perfect. What she just doesn’t do for this: she sits on a strict diet, goes in for sports three times a week, spends two hours on preparations before leaving the house, and constantly fixes her hair. Zhenya strives for perfection not only in appearance, but also in her behavior and performance.
What drives her and other people who behave in this way? Why do they want to be perfect in everything?
This is called clinical perfectionism. What does it mean? This means setting excessive demands on yourself and the people around you, including when there is no need for this at all. Evgenia is very critical of herself and her behavior, which makes her live in a constant state of anxiety and with a sense of the need to do everything better – that is, in a constant struggle against herself, and not with herself.
Research shows that perfectionism plays a key role in the emergence and development of a number of psychological problems. For example, it may be one of the possible causes of eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), an obstacle in the treatment of depression, and a major contributor to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
But back to Zhenya. Knowing her history and her difficulties, we can say the following about her desire for excellence:
- She unconsciously sets high “performance standards” and tries her best to meet them. For example, she is convinced that she should receive only the highest score in all subjects, and prepares for lessons almost all day long;
- Every time she fails to achieve her goals, she believes that she has lost her face and lost the respect of others;
- She judges herself too harshly, not noticing her own merits and paying close attention, first of all, to what she does not like about herself;
- Argues on the principle of “all or nothing”: he perceives all the results achieved either as a complete failure or as a resounding success, not taking into account that there may be more intermediate results – and also positive ones;
- She doubts that she is able to cope with the task, to do it correctly;
- Believes that others have high hopes for her;
- She is too afraid of criticism.
The reason for this can be understood, taking into account some theses of cognitive-behavioral theory. Perhaps at an early age, Evgenia was punished or scolded for this or that behavior, and she came to the conclusion that in order to avoid such unpleasant consequences, it is necessary to always do everything impeccably. It may also be that she encountered and compared herself with people who could flawlessly cope with certain tasks.
How can Zhenya be helped to overcome these difficulties? First of all, it is important to let her know that perfectionism is a problem, not a positive thing. To do this, it is worth discussing with her the pros and cons of striving for excellence. And in the future – to reformulate her beliefs and requirements for herself, making them more realistic. Behavioral experiments can also be useful to simulate situations that Evgenia usually tries to avoid.