Contents
The words you say to yourself that make you unhappy
Psychology
The thinker Luis Castellanos knows the keys to using a more positive language
How many times have you said to yourself “it’s my fault because …”, “I’m unlucky …” or have you participated in conversations in which you only criticizes something or someone? We are all victims of these moments and, without realizing it, the language that we use in our day to day makes us more and more unhappy… This is how the philosopher Luis Castellanos, also a world pioneer in the investigation of positive language as an innovative tool for the progress of humanity, explains it. ‘Language is very harmful. As children we already begin to have a series of words that hurt us and that later limit us. We end up believing them. How can we build through language? First realizing those negative words. As a result of that we can build a different story of our life. Our way of talking about the world is our way of seeing the world “, explains the author of” The language of happiness. “
In order to begin to build a much richer language that encourages joy and happiness, it is necessary to differentiate a series of detractors that nurture unhappy language. The enemies of language are the following: «Guilt. It doesn’t matter if I blame myself or someone else. Guilt keeps us from moving forward. We use expressions like ‘it was his fault…’. On the other hand there is the excuse, the pretext as a way of relating. The excuse it appropriates our empathy when, for example, we get sucked into our phones and their ubiquitous apps. Expressions are used such as ‘I had no choice …’, ‘is that …’. The complain It is another of the aspects that slow down. When we sink into regret, disgust and constant discontent. ‘Everything happens to me.’ Finally there is the review: the one that is not constructive, that constantly judges, detracting and intoxicating the environment and creating a censorious environment, labeling people. The influence of these enemies leads us to a lack of generosity and listening. All this prevents you from learning and changing. Is it possible that someone who has an unhappy language is happy? The answer is no, “says the writer.
Constant search for happiness
«We are out of calibration. Find the happiness It is everyone’s aspiration and we confuse it with satisfaction, well-being and joy. It seems that happiness is in difficulties to inhabit the world because, on many occasions, its search produces more suffering than well-being. Our restless soul wants more and more and does not allow itself to be stilled, guided by simplicity, by silence », says Luis Castellanos. “Happiness is a creative act of the human being”, comments the author.
This search for happiness is also given by the state of doubt. Who likes to live in doubt? Only some find in uncertainty an impetus to move forward. «Nobody likes to live in doubt, that is why we often find ourselves looking for formulas and recipes to solve our problems. uncertainty. We forget that doubt can be very healthy to grow, to progress, because it teaches us to think and question what we see and what we hear », clarifies Castellanos.
Narrative tension
Chilean Pilar Sordo talks about anticipators of misfortunes, those who have an unhappy language, and Luis Castellanos dedicates a few words to this type of person. «What is most difficult for human beings is not having when they have previously had. We anticipate that we can go wrong because we do not want to suffer when we do not have it. You have to enjoy the moments, and then accept life as it is. We always want to have more and in the end we get into a dynamic in which we are scared and scared of being happy with little things like having a coffee, going to the theater … », explains the author of«The language of happiness».
How to be happy thanks to language? If the story is changed, life is transformed, and Luis Castellanos has found the keys to achieve that longed-for well-being. And it is found in the words. “The key is to be able to choose our own language. Positive language is not pretty words, it is when something happens (pain, suffering), and we link it through the narration we do, the language we choose. Positive language is the ability to counter our own narrative with different words. We are the language. Language inhabits us 24 hours a day. If we do not have well-being in language, it will be difficult for us to find happiness because if we speak of hatred or anger, it is what is really inhabiting us », the philosopher says.