Each of us dreams of finding the way to happiness. The path seems difficult and long. There are so many external circumstances that poison our lives: unloved work, financial difficulties. But what if buying a car or changing jobs doesn’t bring the desired effect? Psychologist Julia Rohrer explains why it is enough to devote more time to communication in order to be happy.
Have you ever thought about personal strategies for achieving happiness? This is the question my colleagues and I asked 1200 study participants. And a year later they returned to these people to assess how happy they feel. The findings were intriguing: not all paths led the participants to happiness.
Initially, we were asked to fill out questionnaires and rate life satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10. Then write down ideas that will help maintain life satisfaction or increase it in the future. A year later, they again assessed the level of satisfaction with life and answered questions about how they spent this time.
By analyzing the data, we were able to identify two types of strategies that people chose: social and individual. Some goals, such as “meet with family and friends more often,” “join a non-profit organization,” or “help those in need,” forced participants to interact with other people. The second group included individual goals, such as «better health», «find a more interesting job» and «quit smoking». Such goals did not imply the obligatory pastime with others.
The happiest people are socially active and build stronger relationships
After analyzing the level of satisfaction with the life of the participants at the moment and the strategies they chose a year ago, we came to the following conclusion. People who set at least one social goal for themselves spent more time with others, resulting in higher life satisfaction. At the same time, the goals could be different: one promised to teach his son to swim, another sought to become more understanding, the third planned to go on a trip with his partner, and the fourth wanted to make new acquaintances.
Participants who focused on individual goals did not increase their life satisfaction this year. Moreover, their «self-focused» path to happiness was less effective than a complete lack of plan and strategy. For example, people who wrote «I’m fine» or «I wouldn’t change anything» became happier than those who followed individual strategies.
All of these findings support the results of an earlier study that found that people who persevere in the pursuit of happiness do not always become happier. This only works in cultures that define happiness in terms of social involvement and helping others.
But regardless of culture, social connections play a key role in achieving well-being. The happiest people are socially active and build stronger relationships. Children with more friends grow up to be happier adults. Communication is one of the most positive daily activities. Our study compared the social and individual paths to happiness for the first time. We have scientifically proven that interacting with other people can inherently be more effective and satisfying.
Another point is that social goals are easier to stick to in the long run. To spend more time with friends, just make a few phone calls. But sticking to a healthy diet requires repetitive effort. Goals like finding a new job cannot be entirely attributed to the power of the person himself. Perhaps people who focus on social goals achieve them more often and therefore become happier.