Contents
The virtues of silence can also be “terrifying”
Psychology
Learning to live with our thoughts is a complicated exercise that must be trained
When after an eternal day we are finally silent, many times we do not know what to do. «You come to tell us / in the dark nights / the infinite word / breathless and without lips», wrote García Lorca in his «Elegy of Silence» verbalizing what silence brings us in that sometimes complicated moment, in which the absence of sound triggers a very different noise within us. And it is that this terrifies for being the moment in which everything that we do not want to face emerges.
Silence is a paradox; inevitable, but some seek it and others flee from it. Those who live with an endless bustle in their heads yearn for it, while others, uncomfortable by what it entails, seek to surround themselves with a constant roar. Silence exists in two ways. One is the external one, the one we experience when we enter a room and there is no sound whatsoever. The other is “inner silence,” getting our thoughts to stop harassing us for a while and give us a moment of calm.
Although both types of silence can be good, it is difficult to learn to live with it. The silence outside has an immediate benefit, since our brain has to exert much more effort when it is in a noisy environment. Inés Bárcenas, a psychologist at the Ruber International Hospital on Paseo de la Habana, explains that the more noise, the more effort to filter sensory and audiovisual stimuli that we receive does our brain, so we are more prone to stress and lack of concentration. Also, when we are in noisy environments our energy levels drop.
The “inner silence”
The so-called “inner silence” also has beneficial effects. Sergi Vilardell, a psychologist member of Doctoralia, points out that silence is a way to connect with ourselves, reflect and get to know each other better. The problem comes when it is difficult for us to remain calm within our mind, since it is easy for our thoughts to take over everything. In these cases, people avoid being silent at all costs, since they cannot avoid being alone with themselves and, therefore, with their thoughts.
“Anxiety always appears with the encounter of emptiness, there are many patients who, when Sunday afternoon arrives and they have nothing to do, become anxious”, comments the psychologist, to which Inés Bárcenas adds that “when we are in a external quiet environment, our attention is focused on our interior, on our emotions and the internal dialogue that is always there ”, something that many people do not tolerate well.
The acceptance of our internal silence can be worked through different techniques. The psychologist recommends, for example, writing our thoughts so that “Channel that dialogue”, since putting it on paper requires a greater slowness of thought, so we generate a pause and promote the understanding of what we have inside. Sergi Vilardell for his part explains that carrying out meditation exercises can help us to better tolerate silence, as well as mindfulness, focusing on what is happening in the present, is a good tool to not get carried away by the verbiage of our mind .
Even so, the professional warns that, if applying any of these techniques we are not able to tolerate this «silence» well or we feel anguish, try to distract us with a “white noise”In other words, watching television or mobile phones can help us little by little to learn to live with stillness and to connect with our interior.
The thermometer of a relationship
Shared silence can also be endlessly satisfying. “Confidence with a person is measured through comfortable silences”, says Sergi Vilardell. The Ruber Internacional hospital psychologist affirms that silence is “a measure of the degree of intimacy we have with a person.” That is why, if we really have a healthy relationship, sharing time and space without talking will be bearable and comfortable, while if it happens to us with a person we do not trust, it will be very complicated, since we will not stop thinking how uncomfortable we are.