Sexual addiction, also known as hypersexuality, erotomania or sexaholism, is a controversial concept that is criticized by many experts. However, there are many who believe that this is a specific mental disorder that requires treatment. Who is right?
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With a detailed analysis of the term “sex addiction” unfortunate facts about the imperfection of psychotherapy will certainly emerge. They are so unsightly that some experts prefer not to touch on this topic at all. However, argues psychotherapist Steven Ing, they need to be analyzed in order to debunk the theory of sexaholism.
Inconvenient Truth #1. Most psychotherapists have knowledge about sex at the level of average citizens. There is nothing particularly surprising, because it is the average citizens who one day become psychotherapists.
But what about special education? Doesn’t it change anything? Alas, no, because most educators also have a very vague idea about the nature of human sexuality. Moreover, many counselors are not only poorly informed about sexual norms and deviations, but are also embarrassed to discuss issues related to sexual desire.
Education in psychology departments did not at all lower their threshold of sensitivity to the topic of sex, while medical schools, in general, still manage to make future doctors insensitive to the sight of blood or human organs.
Consider, for example, homosexuality: same-sex attraction was considered a disease until 1973, when it was finally removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The US National Association of Social Workers decided to do this only in 1993.
Inconvenient Truth #2. Taking advantage of the general ignorance about sexual normality, the adherents of sex addiction discovered a bonanza and created an entire industry on this basis.
Centers that treat so-called “deviations” will flourish as long as there are gullible people fixated on religious beliefs and therapists (whether they share these beliefs or not) who want to get their money.
Profile websites “on a blue eye” categorically declare: “Sex addiction is a fairly common phenomenon”, “There are more and more cases of sex addiction.” Translated from pseudoscientific language, this sounds something like “the circle is full of perverts.”
Inconvenient Truth #3. The theory of sex addiction serves as an aid to religious fundamentalism. After several centuries of resisting the science of the psyche, the advocates of religion changed tactics and simply joined the psychologists.
Previously, sexual addiction was considered a crime against morality, but now it is formalized as a diagnosis. Once sinful behavior is now a disease or mental disorder.
What to do with it
Stephen Ing is sure that in fact there is no sex addiction. It’s just a concept, supposedly invented for a good purpose. But therapists would go much further if they could disengage from stereotypes, overcome their own biases towards sexuality, and pay attention to the underlying problems of sexual disorders.
And they also learned three obvious, at first glance, facts:
- A teenager who masturbates frequently (by other people’s standards) is perfectly healthy. This is not a problem and does not need to be addressed. Just communicate with your child, stay close and help him if he asks for help or advice.
- A sexually unsatisfied spouse actually suffers from loneliness and dislike. Here already need family therapy, work with both partners. And perhaps the only cure in this case will be divorce.
- A man or woman who dreams of, say, anal stimulation but is afraid of sinning is not really doing anything wrong. The solution is to try to combine sexual need (objective reality) and spirituality (personal values).
The concept of “sex addiction” does not take into account the myriad combinations of human sexuality that are within the normal range. It does not take into account root causes such as the countless early childhood traumas that make sexual pleasure a self-soothing device.
However, adherents of sex addiction focus on the consequences of experienced states. They try to treat such “addicted” patients for sex addiction, although it is precisely with the trauma inflicted, for example, by sexual violence, that they need to work. “Sex addiction”, according to Stephen Ing, is a misconception that ignores all natural manifestations of human sexuality and turns attention to problematic sexual behavior.