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The transitional age of adolescents: how to cope, whether it is necessary to be friends with a child
If you think about it, what could be wrong with becoming your child’s best friend? But there are still pitfalls.
Most importantly, friendship presupposes equality, which cannot exist between parents and children. Mutual respect, benevolence, trust, tact and attention to everyone’s personal boundaries, of course, will only make your life more beautiful. But in any case, no matter how friendly and close you are with the children, the distance should remain. An adult is still the main one, whatever one may say. In addition, you will not, in all seriousness, complain to your son or daughter, as a friend, about a goat boss, or share your sexual preferences. healthy-food-near-me.com has collected four main dangers of overly friendly relations between children and parents.
Many would like to avoid facing the difficulties of adolescence. Even the teeth are reduced by one phrase – so many horrors are written about this period on women’s forums. But it will not be possible to overcome it very smoothly, so relax. The child just needs to express both positive emotions towards you and negative ones. His feelings for you are a mixture of love and hate. Psychologists say that such a manifestation of feelings is an important moment for the formation of a teenager’s personality. He must be given the opportunity to conflict with elders – without the risk of destroying relations with them. If you close your eyes to all his misdeeds and forgive everything, then he will never learn to take responsibility for his actions. And if you keep him on a “short leash”, the child will not learn to defend his own opinion.
Thanks to social networks, a person’s life can be seen at a glance. There is nothing to say about teenagers “disappearing there for hours”. The more time the child spends in the virtual world, the stronger the parent’s desire to communicate with him online. An accepted application on Facebook, VKontakte or Instagram becomes a symbol of true friendship and confirmation of the thesis “I am a very good parent”. Just what to do if your daughter or son is in no hurry to invite you to their pages? No need to get upset and worry about this. Your presence there is not at all necessary, and the absence of a teenager’s friends does not mean that you have not a very good relationship. How can it be a bad parent who trusts his child and does not follow his every step? Leave your child some personal space – at least virtual. It is important for him to be able to be himself, knowing that no one will judge him.
But don’t forget, children are always children. It’s still worth keeping an eye on your child’s actions on the Internet. Only this must be done carefully and unobtrusively.
Parents need to take care of children. But if you are afraid of responsible decisions, then the child has no choice but to switch roles with you. But in this case, he will cease to feel safe. Parents should not take childhood away from their child. They can behave as they like in any other place, but they should have loving, adults, caring mom and dad next to him. Children who have “adopted” parents often experience difficulties in communicating with peers, and then with employers.
The child will easily compromise his own interests, while giving completely adult arguments, stating: “I can do without this. Our family can’t afford it. ” He will prefer to hide his emotional state, and even physical trauma, for fear of upsetting the parent. Such children will experience great difficulties when it comes time to move out from their parents. They will be scared to leave adults alone.
What goes around comes around
Psychologists note that often children from “democratic” families grow up talented, but constantly in search. For them, the usual model of behavior in the family is to discuss their current affairs and listen to the opinions of others. Therefore, when making decisions, they can rely on someone else’s opinion, but in case of failure, they will shift responsibility to another. Therefore, over the years, friendly relations with parents turn into accusations, although they still depend on their opinion. They experience setbacks more acutely and are more dramatic about changing professions. Here’s another reason to think about whether you really need to be friends with your child.