The technique to seduce and convince through a screen

The technique to seduce and convince through a screen

personal development

The expert in verbal and non-verbal communication, Mónica Galán Bravo, reveals how to “go beyond the screen” so that online communication is highly effective

It seems that many of us are beginning to be clear that this “speaking through a screen” is no longer something temporary, neither punctual nor sporadic, but rather is (and will be for some time) “our daily bread.” What we are still not so clear about is how to do it right or how to communicate online efficiently. Some feel ridiculous or insecure talking to a laptop or mobile phone, others believe that they no longer manage to capture the attention of their interlocutor in the same way or that they are not capable of causing the impact they want and others even experience a certain fear stage (in the form of nerves, stress or blockage) that leads them to show a “stiff” face and to express themselves virtually with a much poorer language than the one they use when communicating in person.

The key is to “go beyond the screen,” as Mónica Galán Bravo, an expert in verbal and non-verbal communication and author of the “Bravo Method: The ultimate (and fun) tool to speak brilliantly in public in 5 easy steps,” explains ( Encourages). Sounds good, sure, but… How can we get beyond the screen? How do we seduce from a distance? It seems more typical of an actor or an actress than of any other professional, but the expert affirms that in reality we are all capable of “crossing the screen” if we train that skill. For now, here are the first seven tracks.

1. Do you look at yourself, the other person or the camera?

One of the keys for virtual communication to flow is, as Mónica Galán Bravo explains, not falling into the trap of «looking at ourselves (that little window where you can also see us) while talking to someone through a online format. “If you are looking to see if you have disheveled, if you make the right gesture or if the makeup is too noticeable or not, the other person will feel and perceive that you are not looking at him,” he reveals. That is why the expert recalls that one of the lessons that we must be clear about this type of communication is that we should not speak to the screen, but to the terminal camera, because, as also happens in face-to-face communication, it only works “when we take care of the other »(and he feels listened to and cared for).

And if you want to spin a finer thread, as Galán Bravo proposes, you can look at the other (at the screen) when he is speaking to you and go to the camera when you speak.

2. Do you do what it takes to be understood?

Another guideline for online communication to work is the call “Cognitive fluency” That, as the expert explains, has to do with how and how much you make it easy for the person in front of you so that you can understand each other. The point is that when we have a person around we can “read” or “better interpret” what the body or the context says, that is, we have many more inputs that give us information about what we are talking about. But when we are in front of a camera sometimes what happens, according to Galán Bravo, is that instead of «cognitive fluency» we have «cognitive load». The information, therefore, does not arrive in such an easy or fluid way. So, how can I supply or solve that lack of inputs that I have with face-to-face communication? «With more cognitive fluency», answers Mónica Galán. Thus, the now to communicate verbally we must order the speech much better so that it has an introduction, middle and end. And we must be clear about how to start, what are the most important ideas that we want to convey and how we will close the intervention, since closing is important in digital communication.

3. “Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting you”

Sometimes we are talking virtually with someone and we are doing it practically at the same time and sometimes we can even get to understand each other, because online communication systems they usually silence (due to their operation) one of the voices in favor of the other. But of course, as Galán Bravo explains, the machine has no criteria to choose the one who is really speaking or the one who says the most important or the most opportune thing at that moment, if not, it probably chooses the one who was speaking louder at that moment. . That is why the expert affirms that the positive learning that we will achieve when we improve digital communication will be: respect the rhythm of the speaker, check the order, listen more, respect the turns and understand the operation of this technology so as not to interrupt or step on, that is, , so as not to get to the moment of “don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting you.”

4. Listening is also trained

But first we must know what we are listening for. “Do you listen to answer or to understand and understand the person and their context?” Asks Galán Bravo. The expert reveals that we must listen to “understand”, not to answer. If we don’t, the communication will not flow and the result will be something like when we listen to a duet in which the singers seem to be waiting for the other to give them the foot to sing. Somehow they listen to themselves but they do not listen (to understand) the other.

5. What if I can’t stop thinking about my appearance

Faced with this question, the expert invites us to reflect on the following: «If all of us, in general, tend to be concerned about our appearance when talking to another person, perhaps we could find some relief by thinking that the other is not thinking about the aspect that we have but in its own aspect. Thus, while I am worrying about myself and how the other is seeing me, the other is actually worried about himself and how he is being seen, “he argues. Ultimately, this leads us to think that it is most likely the other is not thinking about our appearance.

6. The story you tell about yourself

This form of communication through the screen can also be a opportunity to accept us and make peace with our image, as proposed by Galán Bravo. Thus, it may be more useful to change “the story you tell about yourself” than anything else related to your appearance. Why? “Because what you tell yourself counts,” he explains. Let’s see it with an example. If during a conversation you are obsessed with seeing this or that (a wrinkle on the face, a michelin, some spots …) perhaps what you show your interlocutor are strange movements or a strange way of looking at the camera so that According to your own perception and according to what you tell yourself about yourself, your gut is not noticeable or a stain is not seen or a wrinkle is not perceived. “Most likely, that person will not see the gut, the wrinkle or the stain, but your strange movements and your strange way of looking. You are not thinking about communicating but about something very different and that will be noticed by your interlocutor, “he says. And this proves, as he explains, that what we tell ourselves influences how we show ourselves and how we are perceived and that is why it is important to work on self-esteem, self-knowledge and self-concept.

7. Extract the “essence” of the other

During these months in which many professionals related to personal development had to reinvent yourself Mónica Galán displayed her talent to “extract the essence of the other” through virtual interviews that could be followed on Instagram.

One of the keys to extracting this “essence” is, as he indicates, “feeling a fascination for what the other has to say” and, although he confesses that he did this work “as a game and from the most genuine curiosity” he felt the need to share these “coffee conversations” publicly through social networks, thinking that they could be useful and beneficial.

Ultimately, “crossing the screen” to communicate “with the heart” is a process that we can train and for this we only have to establish that base or starting point given by the expert in verbal and non-verbal communication Mónica Galán Bravo.