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The word «stress» is so firmly established in our vocabulary that we do not always realize what it really means. What is the difference between it, a stressor, and a stress response? And what is the most important thing to work with? We deal with the body psychologist.
Stress and its comrades
A stressor is everything that we see, hear, everything that surrounds us and that our body reads as potentially dangerous. Stressors can be external — a pandemic, problems with money, children in puberty, lack of time, an aggressive boss, ill parents, and internal — low self-esteem, criticism of one’s appearance and actions, fears and worries for oneself and loved ones.
Stress is a direct bodily, nervous, and physiological response to a stressor. That is, when a person says «I’m stressed», it literally means that something in the external or internal world is read by his body as a threat.
The stress response is a cycle of changes throughout the body that is triggered by the body in response to the presence of a stressor. And it doesn’t matter if it’s an external threat or an internal one – a tiger is chasing you in the jungle or you are criticizing your reflection in the mirror. The body starts a cycle of stress response to any stressor to be ready to run or fight.
How to deal with stress the right way
The main mistake in working with stress is that we begin to fight stressors, directing a huge amount of energy to fight external circumstances or to contain emotions.
However, working with one, two, or even three stressors does not affect the stress response cycle in any way. This means that the level of stress remains unchanged. Moreover, the number of stressors may increase, and therefore the number of unfinished stress reactions will also increase.
How the stress response cycle usually works:
I saw a tiger — the body turned on — a decision was made to run — I ran with all my might — I ran to my friends — you are celebrating salvation. Or:
I saw a tiger — the body turned on — the tiger turned out to be faster — the end of the film.
A modern person, on the other hand, often “breaks down” the stress reaction, preventing the chain from completing:
The chief yelled — the body turned on — I sit and am silent.
They cut me off on the road — the body turned on — I want to yell — yell indecently, I am silent.
Relations are not satisfied — the body turned on — I do nothing — and tomorrow the same thing.
Thus, by the end of the day, our body accumulates dozens, if not hundreds of incomplete stress reactions. And so day after day, until it “explodes”.
How to End the Stress Response
Words and thoughts like “everything is over, everything is in order, the tiger is defeated” do not complete the cycle, because in nature it ends only with action. It is actions—fighting, winning, celebrating, communicating, contacting—that can complete the stress response cycle, even if the event happened long ago or if the stressor is still around you.
What are these actions?
1. Movement
It can be any movement that you make during the day — dancing, running, active yoga, playing sports, intense walking. An adult should actively move for at least an hour a day. Compare this bare minimum to your activity level and consider how you can add movement to your life. This is the most important and most important way to complete the stress response cycle.
2. Hugs
Long, regular hugs and skin-to-skin contact signal to the body that it is safe and can relax. Hug with a partner, hug with friends and acquaintances, come to body groups. If there is no one to hug right now, pet a cat or a dog.
3. Breath
Various psychological traumas (long-term stressors) and events that are happening right now directly affect your breathing. In fear or stress, it often becomes superficial or abrupt and intermittent. Therefore, it is important to observe your breathing and bring it back to normal consciously.
4. Warm communication
A large number of stressors and unfinished stress reactions often lead to the fact that we exclude communication from other people from our lives. It seems like there is no time or you don’t want to get out of the mink. But it is warm communication, not necessarily intimate, that helps the body feel safe. It can be a joint lunch with a colleague, where you discuss the vacation, it can be a meeting with a psychologist, where you share your experiences, or with a friend who will be silent with you.
5. Laughter
Laughter and hysterical crying activate the same muscles in the body — both are great for relieving tension. Watch funny films and performances, discuss jokes with friends. And even if it seems indecent to laugh, laugh anyway.
6. Tears
Tears, like laughter, help release tension and complete the stress response cycle. We experience the emotions of artistic characters as our own, which means we can go through all stages of the stress response cycle with them. And complete them.
7. Creativity
Verbal, visual and performing arts help to cope with any stressors. Sing, dance, draw, weave, knit, play on stage, take pictures and be photographed — any creativity goes into the piggy bank.
How to choose your way?
You can choose the appropriate method only by trying each one in turn, choosing your own combinations. You may enjoy dancing on Mondays and Thursdays, running on Sundays, and clay sculpting on Saturdays. One thing is for sure, your body knows exactly what it needs right now to complete the stress response cycle. Just ask yourself «what I want now» and do it.