The secret meaning of habitual gestures

Movement reflects our thoughts. We can say one thing with words, but a competent specialist in gestures, facial expressions and posture will accurately guess when we are nervous, scared, trying to hide some information or deceive the interlocutor. “The verbal part of communication is only 7%, while 55% of the information is hidden in movements and gestures, and 38% is guessed by intonation,” explains Fabien Olicard.

That’s why it’s so important to understand body language. Let’s start studying it with six simplest examples and the most common situations.

1. Hand movements

It is a common belief that a person who actively gesticulates is trying to outwit or deceive you. However, according to the expert, everything is more complicated:

“Many people just by nature do a lot of “helping themselves” with their hands during a conversation. It is even considered a hallmark of representatives of some nations. It is necessary to pay attention to whether there are rhythm disturbances in hand movements. If they become especially sharp, suddenly faster, more frequent or sweeping, you need to take a closer look at the interlocutor.

In itself, active confused gestures, even in a person who usually does not sin with it, cannot be called a “symptom” of deception. However, it indicates that your interlocutor is excited, nervous, stressed, or trying to mislead you.

2. Gestures-parasites

“Does your interlocutor constantly tug at his earlobe, twist a curl around his finger, rub his temple or nose? It makes sense at least to double-check the information that he reports. It is these parasitic gestures that most often betray the deceiver, ”says Fabien Olicard. The fact is that such gestures seem absolutely natural to most people.

When we tell a lie, we try to look as normal as possible and start tugging at our ear, rubbing our nose, etc. And thus we betray ourselves. Of course, here again, you can not be 100% sure. All of a sudden your opponent actually has itchy nose or just has an uncontrollable habit of touching it all the time. And yet, most often, parasitic gestures signal an attempt to lie.

3. Copying movements

Trying to please someone, we involuntarily begin to imitate his behavior and copy certain movements and habits. Thus, we are trying to send a non-verbal signal to the opponent: “We are in the same boat.” It is worth taking note of this technique if you want to win the favor of your boss or the attention of a pretty colleague.

However, it is important not to overdo it. Do not copy special gestures. Such behavior is always noticeable to others and can be regarded in different ways.

“In business negotiations, copying poses can create an atmosphere of trust,” says Fabien Olicard. – Lean back in your chair or cross your legs if your interlocutor is sitting like that. This will help both you and him feel comfortable. As a result, your meeting will be fruitful.”

4. Duchenne smile

The French neurologist Guillaume Duchenne de Boulogne (1806–1875) devoted much of his time to the study of facial expressions and other aspects of non-verbal communication. He proved that some of the muscles involved in smiling work involuntarily. The muscles responsible for controlling the cheeks and the muscles responsible for opening and closing the eyes are controlled by different parts of the brain.

“When we genuinely smile or laugh, our cheeks lift and our eye muscles contract. Therefore, wrinkles-rays around the eyes, which cosmetologists have dubbed “crow’s feet”, are a sign of a cheerful, benevolent person, our expert says. “However, when we imitate laughter or a smile, the eye muscles remain unused.”

Pay attention to whether the person’s eyes “laugh” when they laugh. A real smile, which involves the eyes, lips and cheeks, is called the Duchenne smile.

5. Napoleonic pose

Arms crossed on the chest, contrary to common misconceptions, do not speak of arrogance or secrecy of your interlocutor. This closed pose (also known as Napoleon’s pose) allows you to create distance and feel more confident. It plays the role of a protective cocoon in situations where we feel our own insecurity or are in a deliberately weaker position.

6. Drive by the nose

Nose! It is this part that can give you away at any moment. Let’s do a simple test. Have someone hide the coin in one hand so that you can’t see which one. Then have that person stretch out both hands in front of them. In most cases, while doing this, the person will look at the hand with the coin.

A slight turn of the head is easiest to track by observing the tip of the nose. Want to find out where someone has hidden the item you need? Watch where his nose is turned.