Crises are hard times for everyone, but the so-called “sandwich” generation is especially hard. People who are between the other two generations — the younger and the older. How can we help ourselves and what should we learn from the heroine of Gone with the Wind?
War of the Worlds
The legendary ancient curse «may you live in an era of change!» Statistically, it seems to come true about once a decade, and by the beginning of the XNUMXst century, the event agenda had become so dense that it gave rise to a new term describing a reality in which the only stability is instability: VUCA-world.
VUCA is an abbreviation that stands for:
volatility (instability),
uncertainty (uncertainty),
complexity (complexity) and
ambiguity (ambiguity).
But before sociologists and psychologists had time to adapt this model to practice, a new, even more relevant one arrived in time: BANI-world.
This acronym put together, respectively:
brittle (fragility),
anxious (anxiety),
nonlinear (nonlinearity),
incomprehensible (incomprehensibility).
The futurologist Jamet Casio, who proposed this model, opposed it to the good old standard of the sunken SPOD world, which stood on stability, predictability, simplicity and certainty.
That world no longer exists, and humanity has to balance at the junction of many crises and stress factors at once, be it geopolitics, ecology, economic upheavals, information wars, technological breakthroughs, revision of the past, social avalanche-like changes…
The most difficult in these realities is the so-called “sandwich” generation, which is statistically, demographically and positionally the “golden mean”. That is, the core, supporting active part of society, the adult stratum, framed by generations of «children» and «parents». It invariably receives the main blows, and it is this generation that is forced to respond to the challenges of the time.
History, which has provided us with examples of such eras in abundance, inexorably develops in a spiral, and in our time, turbulence is lived, perhaps, more difficult than ever. To the standard signs like anxiety, instability, the collapse of familiar systems, the cancellation of agreements, chaotic destructive new inputs and the shortening of the planning horizon in the literal sense to «today’s day» were added acutely topical features — related to technological processes and social realities.
Professions, specialties and career lifts, which were in demand and guaranteed stability yesterday, may turn into an outdated burden today. The usual ideas about status and social guarantees, money, place of residence are being revised or canceled, priorities are radically changed … The life of a private person in such circumstances can be habitually compared to a boat in a raging ocean. Or, if we follow the metaphor of turbulence, it is with an aircraft that finds itself in the corresponding zone. Is there a complete loss of control? No. But the possibilities are very limited, and the main function is no longer so much to get to the previously planned point, but to survive and be saved right now.
In an airplane at such moments it is not easy for everyone — passengers and crew. But the most difficult for the commander of the ship
He has no right to weakness, the risk of errors in calculations and actions is critically high, he is required not only to avoid a disaster, minimize damage and masterfully guide the board through danger, but also to prevent panic in the cockpit and cabin. And this commander is inevitably the «sandwich» generation.
Lessons from Scarlett O’Hara
A literary example is Scarlett O’Hara from Margaret Mitchell’s immortal saga Gone with the Wind. Despite the inconsistency of her character, this heroine intuitively chooses ideal strategies for overcoming the era of turbulence and brilliantly mobilizes her reserves. Yesterday she danced and flirted at the ball and enjoyed wealth and status, and today she pulls a cart, sews a dress from a curtain, digs the earth with her hands and takes responsibility for the weak.
She easily and without regret sheds unnecessary skills, ideas and habits of a prosperous past (including etiquette ones) that have become rudimentary, masters new ones (some of which she previously despised, some that even existed outside her horizons) and creatively adapts her useful qualities to new realities.
She does not waste her time, energy and mind on philosophizing and philosophizing (unlike Ashley, who was completely lost in the new BANI world), does not exchange for powerless complaints and anger (unlike her sister Sulyn), unless rage on a specific occasion helps her to get together at the right moment. He does not appease and does not rely on higher values and third-party will (unlike Melanie), does not cling to the old ways of doing business that have lost weight and value (unlike her second husband Frank).
Scarlett takes responsibility for others, but at the same time maintains the right to autocratic decision-making, interacts with effective people (primarily with the support of Rhett Butler), rapidly cultivates her strengths and acquires new skills, forms useful connections, brings the necessary sacrifices, resorts to complex, but necessary compromises at a particular moment. She does not demand or expect gratitude, but insists on the unconditional submission of the weak who depend on her. He solves urgent tasks and problems very rigidly, clearly and ruthlessly (to himself and others) and constantly keeps in mind as guidelines and incentives the only important values for which he works so hard.
These values are the same, basic, “pyramidal” ones: food and a place of security and strength
“God knows, I will never go hungry again!” — this is one of its goals (realized, we note, despite the “incorrect” formulation with the “not” particle from the point of view of popular positive psychology).
«Tara!» — the second, the house, the point of assembly of the family, the land of the fathers, the homeland.
And one more wording, with the help of which Scarlett brilliantly bypasses the psychological and mental traps that distract others from the goal: «I will think about it tomorrow.»
No, with the help of this idea, she does not close her eyes, protecting herself from the inevitable and urgent. On the contrary, it discards unnecessary mental and emotional layers that blur the urgent need and the specific immediate task. And it is easy to see that Miss O’Hara intuitively invented and applied the recommendations of many modern scientists, and Mrs. Mitchell described them long before these scientists were born into the world. That allows us to assert the universality of these useful finds for any time, place and crisis circumstances.
Scarlett is a real captain. She manages to deliver the ship to the right place and save all the passengers, not forgetting about herself.
Scarlett is from the sandwich generation of yesteryear. And today’s «sandwich» generation is the collective Scarlett. The strategies, tactics, the very path of this heroine is an excellent motivation and to this day a working example for a person of the era of turbulence.
It is not at all necessary to imitate her in everything — this personality is very contradictory, and her choices in ethical terms are not always justified and certainly not always necessary. But to take from Scarlett her amazing stamina, search skills, resourcefulness, fortitude and faith in her own victory — it makes perfect sense.