The role of father and mother in raising a girl

In raising a girl, there should be a slightly different position of dad and mom. Mom can (and should) be tougher than dad here, drive her daughter and demand from her daughter. Combing your hair, making the bed, not walking around unassembled, preparing breakfast for everyone and washing the dishes — all this a mother can demand harshly from her daughter. More precisely, harshly, if necessary, because with an attentive and wise upbringing, where mother herself is attentive and both father and grandmother help her, all this can be done without any rigidity. But dad — let dad be softer to his daughter. The daughter fulfills her mother’s requirements because she needs to, and her father’s requests — because she wants to. Another thing is that in the right family, the authority of the pope should be such that the mildest request from the father in fact raises everyone, and if dad suddenly doesn’t just ask for something, but demands, then this is done simply at the expense of “One” … With dad — do not argue.

It’s normal if dads spoil girls a little: and if she didn’t comb her hair and ran to him in a crumpled dress, let his reaction be hug, kiss and admiration “You are my beauty!” And after that — “Go comb your hair, dear, and it’s better to stroke the dress!” To love and pamper — yes, but if suddenly the daughter wants to compete with her mother for the attention and love of her father, she should not have a single chance. No matter how dad admires his cute daughter, the daughter should absolutely clearly know that his heart belongs primarily to her mother. Only in this case, the girl inside herself will say: “I will also have a beloved man when I grow up!”, And this will become the basis for the formation of the correct femininity.

The most important role of the father is also in something else: it is the father who must teach the girl to be brave and be able to think. If girls are not specially educated, they often grow up to be cowards. In female culture, it is customary to be afraid, talking about fears is welcome, but prudence is more useful to your daughter, and instead of fears and worries, the calculation of reasonable risks. Teach your daughter to think. Many girls replace the ability to think with a good memory: it is easier for them to repeat what they want to hear from them than to think and understand. It is easier for girls to share and even cry than to think and draw conclusions. If your daughter loves to share her experiences with you, that’s great, but as you grow up, teach her to remove her “share”, that is, just chatting with emotions, develop the ability to speak in clear theses. Yes, this is usually best taught by dad.

But the habit “It is said and done!” dad and mom can and should teach together. Without the dissatisfied «I’m now, wait!» or “Well, mom, leave me alone!”, and if the parents asked for something seriously, then you need to immediately stop any other business, get up, smile and do what you asked. Such a habit is rare today, but it is one that will help your daughter to be internally organized in the future, help to avoid the problem of an internal saboteur.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.