Forget everything you’ve read about deception detection techniques. Do not try to catch his signs by body movements, eyes and facial expressions. These are all very unreliable indicators, says Christian Hart, an expert in the psychology of lying. One exact method will allow to catch the deceiver.
How to understand that we are being deceived? If you google this question, the system will return mountains of books, an endless stream of videos, thousands of blogs and articles with ready-made answers. Unfortunately, a cursory review shows that these sources are filled with questionable or even harmful advice. Almost all of them claim that shifty eyes, fussiness, tone of voice, micro-expressions and other signals allegedly indicate whether a person is lying or telling the truth. The authors of such materials often promise to make us “professional lie detectors” for a modest fee.
Why is it hard to catch a liar
It seems that the mentioned sources intentionally miss one important fact. There are simply no reliable indicators by which it would be possible to establish that someone is lying.
“Researchers have been wrestling with this mystery for decades. All that was found was a small and very unreliable set of behavioral traits, writes Dr. Hart. “The truth is, there are no obvious clues.”
Why is it so difficult to recognize deception? Yes, because some masterfully know how to pretend to be honest. Even in childhood, we learn: in order to be believed, we must look natural. It’s very easy: look into the eyes and lie with a sweet smile on your face. Something like this, we easily circle people around our fingers. And nobody has a clue.
A reliable way
Do not rush to get upset. There is still a reliable way to calculate liars, says the psychologist. The trick is not to read facial expressions and body language, but to listen and be attentive.
Lies are nothing more than the transmission of distorted information. What is its meaning? Does it match what we already know? If not, it’s time to move on to the next stage of lie detection. If someone’s story is alarming, start asking questions. Explore the details. Are they impossible to check? Are you evasive? There is a feeling that everything is sewn with white threads? There is reason to suspect that you are being deceived.
The final step is the final confirmation. If the story mentions “who, what, where, when” facts, they are often easy to prove. The beloved says that he was at a family holiday, which means that relatives can confirm his alibi. The employee claims that he was in the hospital, which means that he must have medical documents.
And the last thing: ask to lay it all out. Surprisingly, many deceivers repent and confess when they are gently and sympathetically persuaded to tell the truth.
So how do you spot a liar? Stop guessing gestures and pay attention to words. Examine questionable claims to make sure they are true. Don’t be afraid to “tighten the screws”. After all, a liar will definitely let it slip – with words, not with body language.