😉 Hello friends! Often, those men who pay too much attention to their chosen ones subsequently complain of coldness on their part. Why is this happening, and why a sense of proportion is needed in a couple – read in the article “The relationship between a man and a woman: balance”.
Young ladies often complain about the lack of attention from the gentlemen. At first glance, it may seem that a sufficient amount of attention, or its excess, is a boon for any girl. But is it really so?
Knowing of limits
In everything it is necessary to have a “golden mean”. After all, if a person has something in excess, then over time he simply ceases to notice it. Care and attention can hardly be an exception here.
Representatives of the stronger sex become frequent clients of psychologists, who cannot build healthy relationships with women for one reason: they pay too much attention to them.
They shower their beloved with compliments, constantly show interest in their feelings. At the same time, the relationship is becoming colder.
Pair dialogue
There is no contradiction in this. But too much attention to a partner leads to the fact that at first he ceases to be noticed. Then it gets boring. And finally, it gets bored completely. Psychologists note: in communication it is important to take both “I-position” and “You-position”.
“I-position” is more familiar to people. In it, a person reflects on his own plans, needs, etc. But in order for communication to be full, sometimes it is necessary to switch to the interlocutor, to understand what is happening in his soul. This position is also being taken in order to better understand the motives of our counterpart.
In a state of love, it often turns out that the partner is in the “you-position” almost constantly.
Don’t lose yourself
This position is completely harmless – but only until the time when the personality begins to completely lose its “I”. For example, a spouse can live only in the interests of the wife, her needs. As a result, women tend to lose interest in such men.
This is due to an imbalance in the relationship. He only gives, but takes nothing in return. Another reason why a person can become deeply depressed is to “lose himself” in a couple. And each of us is individual and unique!
This is the absence of a firmly formed “we” position, when the “pulling the blanket” over oneself stops. In We Position, relationships are no longer rivalries. Equilibrium is established by itself.
No relationship is perfect. He can sometimes get angry, and She – to be capricious. However, the “fly in the ointment” should still remain just a spoon, not a bucket. In the event that one partner wants a lot from the relationship, he must prepare and give a lot. Boomerang law.
If one side only gives, and the other only accepts, this can prolong the relationship of partners. However, it will not be able to become the basis for mutual love and respect.
Video
In this video, additional and very valuable information from psychologist Natalia Kucherenko
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