Children often rebel against their parents and their decisions. They want to express their own opinion, aspirations and preferences in this way. A toddler can put up the first resistance between the eighteenth and twenty-sixth month of life. If, in the vicinity of their loved ones, a child begins to fuss, he does not want to listen and cooperate, and each step of his parents with which he does not agree with anger, shouting and crying, may be symptoms of a two-year-old’s rebellion. What is a two-year-old rebellion? How to recognize it? How to proceed when it appears?
The rebellion of a two-year-old is the beginning of changes that take place in the psyche and personality of a young child. Until now, all changes and the acquisition of new skills were mainly related to physical and emotional development. Around the second birthday, the child begins to feel more and more about his own identity. He begins to understand that he is a separate being, strongly underlines his sentence, resistance and objection, most often accentuating it with the word “no”. The toddler also realizes that not everything that happens in his environment will be in his or her way.
This period can be extremely difficult and tiring for both parents and the child himself, who is struggling with a lot of emotions, constant mood swings, which in turn may throw his caregivers out of balance. However, it is worth realizing that the rebellion of a two-year-old is a natural process. It is also extremely important from the point of view of the child’s psyche and the development of his personality – he begins to notice his own, separate preferences, and also to defend them. The essence of parents’ behavior should be a skilful balance between allowing the child to express his opinion freely and firmness.
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The rebellion of a two-year-old is usually accompanied by a number of characteristic symptoms. The most common is the overuse of the word “no” when stressing one’s own sentence. In addition, the child also uses the phrase “I myself” interchangeably. Such a child usually wages war with the parent on every possible level. A toddler who enters this period most often reacts to any prohibitions with aggression and hysteria. As a rule, he also wants to constantly show off his independence – he strives to do this by stubbornly performing various activities himself.
A consolation that goes through a rebellion of a two-year-old is also usually overly interested in things and objects that should be out of its reach, such as garbage or electrical sockets. The rebellious attitude of a toddler is also often manifested by smearing on books or walls, as well as destroying toys. Sometimes there are also problems with eating – the child refuses to eat, and when forced to do so, it often spits out or throws away the food.
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The rebellion of a two-year-old is the beginning of learning to deal with emotions that a child is flooded with and is unable to tame. The role of parents in this process is extremely important. Keep in mind that you cannot be overly stringent. This is a stage in life when the child learns to respect the social norms of his surroundings and correct relations with other people, while maintaining his own boundaries. Excessive restrictions, such as punishments, reacting with anger and frustration, and especially hitting a child, can negatively affect its development.
In the future, this may result in a great susceptibility to pressure from the environment, as well as problems in contacts with other people. It is important, however, not to be too lenient with the little rebel. Failure to set limits for a child may result in a lack of respect for the independence of others in the future.
Instead of scolding our child for bad behavior, we should pay more attention to what they do well and praise them for it. It is about the so-called reinforcement, i.e. behavior that is rewarded, is strengthened, to speak more simply, it will be presented more willingly and more often. Likewise, the same principle works with discipline, so it is better to praise the right behavior than to punish the wrong behavior.
Another equally important issue is maintaining a constant rhythm of the day. We should get up in the morning and go to bed at the same time in the evening, eat meals at the same time and perform various activities (e.g. hygiene, walks or other activities) at the same time. Thanks to this, our child will know how to act and what to expect.
Let’s remember that the child wants to be independent and be able to decide for himself. If we do not respect this, the two-year-old will start to strive for it even more. Therefore, we should allow him to be independent, within common sense, of course.
Let your child make his or her own decisions in ordinary, everyday situations by asking him questions such as: “What do you want for breakfast? Sandwiches or cereal? “,” Do you prefer to wear this or that hat? “. It is not a big deal for a parent, but for a child it will be of great importance as they will know that they are influencing the world around them. However, you should pay attention to asking questions that give you specific possibilities (alternatives), and not give you unlimited freedom. The very question, “What do you want for breakfast? “Is bad, but giving a specific choice is okay” Sandwiches or cereals? “.
Let us not forget, however, about perhaps the most important let’s show our child the support he needs. Let the two-year-old experience his anger. Let us then remain calm and patiently wait for our child to calm down. Let us then show him understanding and say, for example: “I know that you do not like it, that you are sorry.” In this way, the child will be aware that he is not alone with the emotions he is experiencing and that everything will be fine.
During a two-year-old rebellion, it is important to be patient and consistent. It is important to show the child the boundaries and organize his world. Explain the prohibitions to the child, while leaving them room for independence. They should also be put before choices – children like to make them. You should never criticize the child himself, only his behavior.
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It should be remembered that the rebellion of a two-year-old does not start on the day the child begins his second year of life. In most cases, the period of revolt begins between 18 and 22 months of age. In turn, it ends depending on the individual characteristics of the child and the attitude of his parents. It is assumed that a two-year-old rebellion lasts from several weeks to several months.
It is worth adding that a rebellion of a two-year-old may sometimes turn into a rebellion of a three-year-old. However, by the time a child turns 4, they are usually linguistically and motorized well enough to be able to express themselves, understand and follow the rules set by teachers and caregivers.
Studies have shown that 20% of 2-year-olds have one tantrum a day, but for 4-year-olds the figure is only 10%.
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The behavior of a child during a rebellion is similar to that of a child with autism. In children with autism, noticeable symptoms are: narrow interests, difficulties in social contacts, as well as above-average repeatability of behavior.
In addition, aggression and anxiety appearing when there is a deviation from routine are also characteristic. In the event of a two-year-old rebellion, the child rebels because he is aware of his independence and wants to make his own decisions.
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What a rebellion looks like in a two-year-old is due to his temperament. Children with an easily warming-up temperament show stronger emotions much more easily and thus rebel more strongly than children with a slowly warming-up temperament. It can also be a cause for misunderstanding on the parent child line when the parents have a different temperament than their child.
Sometimes parents may come to the conclusion that the rebellion of a two-year-old is a myth, because they did not notice anything (although the rebellion of the two-year-old took place, but probably did not disturb the parents too much). In such cases, the child simply does not show too strong and violent emotions, thanks to which his parents could get along relatively well with the child. However, it should be borne in mind that the child’s independence is key to its proper development and it must not be dominated.
Keep in mind that children at this age develop independence and self-esteem. It is reasonable to assume that their views and expectations will not always match ours. Interestingly, some children go through a two-year-old’s rebellion with fewer tantrums than others. This is especially true when they have advanced language skills that help them express themselves more clearly and thus reduce frustration.
The tantrums and rebellion that accompany a two-year-old’s rebellion are normal, but if we feel that our child’s behavior is getting out of control or we are just feeling overwhelmed, let’s talk to our child’s pediatrician.
You can also seek professional help if teachers or carers suggest that something is wrong, or if we notice that the child is:
- withdrawn;
- avoids eye contact;
- especially aggressive or quarrelsome;
- attempting to hurt themselves or others;
- causing a lot of stress at home.
The pediatrician can give you tips on how to improve your toddler’s behavior and advise if he or she needs a mental health assessment. Some of the factors that may predispose a child to more aggressive behavior are:
- consumption of alcohol during pregnancy;
- being exposed to violence at a young age;
- naturally having a difficult temperament.
Two-year-old’s rebellion and sleep
The average 12-year-old needs approximately 14 to XNUMX hours of sleep a day. However, helping children at this age to fall asleep isn’t always easy. Bedtime is often a source of great consternation for young children. They may feel that fun activities are still going on and they don’t want to miss them, or they don’t want to be separated from their parent or caregiver.
Here are just some of the most common reasons why your little one wakes up at night:
- Bad Dreams – It is not unusual for young children to experience nightmares to wake up screaming at night. Most children this age will have their first nightmares.
- Night sweats or too high a temperature – a toddler’s ability to regulate his own temperature is not fully developed yet – it is still growing. As a result, children are more likely to feel hot and develop excessive sweating (night sweats) and excessive temperature (overheating).
- Allergies – Just like adults, young children can be allergic to dust mites, mite allergens, and fungal spores.
- Night terrors – Night terrors occur when your baby starts talking, beating or screaming while sleeping. These are not the same as nightmares, but they are easily confused.
To find out what the cause is, it’s always a good idea to check with your GP if your child suddenly begins to experience any of these symptoms.
As mentioned, most 24-year-olds will need 12 to 14 hours of sleep within XNUMX hours. However, it doesn’t have to be done all at once – one or two naps during the day can be combined with their night-time sleep to achieve the right amount of hours. Finding out what works best for our little one may take several weeks of experimenting.