The questions you should ask yourself to know if you are looking for a stable relationship or a flirtation

The questions you should ask yourself to know if you are looking for a stable relationship or a flirtation

Couple

If you are looking for a partner to cover an unmet need, to avoid facing a fear or as a means to achieve another end (money, children, good image, company …), then your relationship has nothing to do with love

Our life has turned upside down with pandemic And it has caused many people to have experienced important changes in their lives, especially in everything that has to do with the way we relate to others. The use of masks social distance, the reduction of leisure options (with the closure of restaurants and nightlife), the confinements and curfews they are measurements and restricciones that are intended to protect us against contagion, but also have a particular impact in the field of couple relationships.

People no stable partner have reduced their sexual encounters and also the opportunities to meet new people both by

 el fear of contagion from Covidas well as the difficulties that the restrictions and security measures pose for the encounters. And although it is true that more and more people are voluntarily choosing to be single, social pressure on “singles” is still very present today. This means that sometimes many relationships are started that are built on shaky foundations that have nothing to do with love. “Some people end up mating without really knowing why or what they did it for. Many of them simply got carried away, without further ado. And to that relationship they have now they have hung the label of ‘stable couple’, but when you scratch a little in them you realize that in reality there is little of a couple and little of stable, “reveals the psychologist and couple therapist Lidia Alvarado.

The expert insists that the reasons for building a stable relationship should not include the social pressure, neither fear nor need because most likely that relationship will not work if it is built on those foundations. It should be noted in this sense that one of the phobias that leads to the formation of many pdysfunctional, toxic and dependency problems is anuptaphobia, which is the persistent fear (which can become a phobia) of not having a partner or being alone.

This type of fear it usually prevents building healthy relationships, but there are also other aspects that can negatively influence people’s emotional well-being. For this reason, before starting a relationship as a couple, the therapist considers it necessary to put fears, insecurities or fears on the table by answering the following questions that will help us discover if we are really looking for a stable partner or if our reasons for matching up are different. we are looking for is a flirtation.

Ask yourself…

• Why do you want to have a stable relationship? What is the meaning of having a partner for you? And what is your goal?
• Do you feel like a complete person or do you need a partner to complete what you don’t have?
• Do you know how to enjoy your loneliness or do you run away from it?
• Do you feel external / social pressure to have a partner and start a family?
• What if you don’t have a partner? What would your life be like? How would you feel if this happened?
• Have you been in a dependency or toxic relationship?
• Have you ever made the decision to leave a relationship?
• How long does it take from when you leave one relationship until you start the next one?
• Are you willing to give up something for love?
• Would you be willing to be faithful in your relationship?

If answered honestly and sincerely, these questions can help you understand what the reasons that lead us to want to be in a relationship. Perhaps you can discover, as the expert explains, if what you want is a partner to share a pure and sincere love or if you really want to fill an emotional void because you do not love yourself, feel accompanied because you have a panic of loneliness, choose a father or mother for your children, have financial security because the bills are better paid between two, follow the tradition because if you do not have a partner you are the “discordant note” of the family “or kill boredom because all your friends have a partner. “If you are looking for a partner to cover an unmet need, to avoid facing a fear or as a means to achieve another end (money, children, good image, company …) then your relationship has little to do with love”, clarifies Alvarado .