Patrycja Tłustochowicz is a psycho-dietician who is not afraid to admit that she has just suffered her greatest professional failure. She lost her husband due to obesity. She could not help him, although for over 10 years she paved the way for a slim figure for hundreds of people.
- Patrycja Tłustochowicz is successful as a psycho-dietician. Always Graceful is a work on which she worked together with her husband. Suddenly, at the age of 43, she became a widow with three young children
- She considers the death of her obese husband as her greatest professional failure
- – He didn’t want to stand up to the truth. He turned the topic of health or excessive kilos into a joke, he tried to minimize or soften his problem – says Patrycja.
The day that changed everything
Always Graceful – this is a company created jointly by Patrycja and her husband, who several years ago, while traveling by train, read an article about a dietitian awarded for introducing a box diet in Poland. The business idea appeared very quickly. Thanks to him, Patrycja found her way in life, she began to be interested not only in healthy eating, but also – and perhaps most of all – in motivation.
She stayed one of the first in Poland certified psycho-dieticians, started to provide dietary catering, obtained several dozen certificates, participated in many industry conferences, both as a listener and a speaker. She set up a YouTube tutorial channel, started blogging, training and getting great feedback as a specialist – she was considered a very successful person. Her world collapsed last November.
– I am a 43-year-old woman, mother of a fantastic three children 5, 8, 10 years old, an entrepreneur, until recently I was a wife ……… today I am a widow ……. widow of my husband who died suddenly, but not unexpectedly ……. he was not ill, he did not die in an accident …… he died of OBESITY, his children found him dead while I was improving my professional qualifications …………… – she wrote in social media on the day her husband would be celebrating his 44th birthday.
Patrycja posted this post for a reason.
– It was not an easy decision, I was filled with fear and doubts. But I decided to say it out loud because I had the deep hope that this post would motivate someone to change after all, it will open your eyes, it will be a stimulus, a policy for the future, a policy for a healthy life, a life policy … Because maybe someone experiences similar problems that they have not been aware of so far – he says in an interview with Medonet.
– I also had a need for my patients, people who see me, to feel that I am not only a theorist. In my office I have heard many times: “How can you know how I feel, what am I going through, if you have no problems, you are slim”. But I myself used to be obese and overeating compulsively, I preferred to eat a piece of cake instead of dinner, hoping it wouldn’t affect my weight. I have come a long way and I know the difficulties others face. And now I have experienced something that I absolutely do not wish anyone. What happened is directly related to the profession I have been doing for over 10 years. I don’t come to work only for 5, 8 or 10 hours, I’m totally into it – she adds.
Each additional kilogram was a burden
The struggle for the correct weight of Patricia’s husband had been going on for a long time. He made numerous attempts to lose weight. He used personalized dietary catering, made nutritional consultations, attended various doctors, and visited a therapist. He even tried to exercise systematically.
– Now, in retrospect, I think there was no deep need for change. He was fascinated by new activity or support for a while, and then he returned to old habits, well-worn paths. He was very careful that I did not see his weakness. He always said he didn’t want to worry me. He made attempts to change quite often, but I think it was more to reassure me that he was doing something in this direction, that he had it under control, than for himself – says Patrycja.
– My husband was a very cheerful man, he avoided conflicts. He turned the topic of health or excessive kilos into a joke, he tried to minimize or soften his problem. With a smile, he commented that he was gaining weight in solidarity with me in all three pregnancies. Only with him it was never dissolved. He often said in the company – also jokingly – that he was his wife’s greatest professional failure … Hence the title of my post.
How much Patricia’s husband weighed remained a secret until the end. He avoided confrontation. He came to the office where he saw patients many times, but when he was invited by the scales, he did not even leave the car. He always said he didn’t want to be in trouble or he was in a hurry. He never showed Patrycja any test results, although he was checked regularly, because his work required it. He assured that despite obesity, he is as healthy as a fish. It was confirmed by his good physical condition. He had various sports passions and did not shy away from being active.
– He wanted to prove at all costs that extra kilos did not limit him in any way. When he went to crossfit, he exercised just like everyone else, and even more. There was no clear reason to believe anything was wrong. He only suffered from sleep apnea – says Patrycja.
Each additional kilogram of breathing problems became an even greater challenge for his body. Eventually, my heart refused to obey. He died as a result of circulatory and respiratory failure. Patrycja was not able to help him.
– Although we have all the tools at our fingertips, we know the techniques and mechanisms, we cannot treat the closest family or friends because we are in too close a relationship to become an objective authority and motivator to change. There is too much emotional charge involved, he explains.
Obesity kills silently
Obesity is a disease that has its code in the international classification of ICD-10. And since it is a disease, it requires treatment. To overcome it, you need to be ready for a lot of work and interventions on many levels – primarily psychological. Treatment of obesity must begin with changes in thinking, thinking about why difficulties in maintaining a healthy body weight appeared at all. The reason for excess weight in 95 percent. people are bad eating habits, and only 5 percent. another disease entity that prevents you from losing weight.
– It cannot be done with one pill. Everyone has a motivation located elsewhere and this motivation must be individually sought. I noticed that when customers used the boxes, they thinned beautifully. However, when they took a break, kilograms returned. Any diet is effective as long as we follow its rules. But there is always something wrong along the way. The most important thing is to stand up to the truth and face the problem. People with BMI over 30 and good results often come to my office. They say that maybe it would be easier for them to motivate themselves if they had something sick, and everything is great for them, nothing is wrong with them. They do not realize that they already suffer from obesity – says Patrycja.
According to the data of the Central Statistical Office one in four adult Poles is obese. The National Health Fund estimates that in five years the number of people struggling with this problem will be 30 percent. bigger. Obesity generates a whole series of diseases, including diabetes, hypertension and breathing disorders. Every year, diseases caused by it kill over 2,5 million people worldwide.
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