The power to overcome

A friend of mine recently said, after listening to another rather risky idea of ​​mine: “I would never participate in this. But with your character, you can do it.» «What is he talking about? I thought. – How are we different? Why is this successful, intelligent person being cautious?” On reflection, I finally understood what he was talking about: the ability to take risks, withstand uncertainty and stress is different for each of us. From nature, from parental influence, from the events that have happened to us, we get a certain “personal fear coefficient”, which, like a multiplier before the bracket, transforms our perception of potentially dangerous situations.

It is well known, at least on the example of literary characters-adventurers, that there are individuals who do not know fear, easily flit over dangers and keep the focus on the possibilities of the situation. And for others, the first reaction is: “This is dangerous, there are so many threats, so many possible negative consequences!” They experience catastrophic consequences as if the bad had already happened. It’s not that they don’t see the pluses, but it’s like with a focus: one is clear and the other is blurry. This does not mean that they are always cowardly, but their courage has a special price. To judge a person’s personal courage, one must take into account the value of his personal fear coefficient. Actually, there is an anecdote about this. On the front lines in the First World War, an officer tries to pry off a Jewish private: “Are you scared?” “How scary,” he replies. “But if you were that afraid, you wouldn’t be here by now.”

The world we live in can be imagined as a grid stretched over an abyss. Someone lives with the feeling that this world holds him well, sometimes throws him up so that he takes his breath away, but does not let him fail — and he feels trust in the world. The other is constantly looking through the cells of the grid into the bottomless abyss. With such a view, the grid is no longer in focus, as if it does not exist, and a person becomes more and more demanding in relation to some other, more reliable supports, absolute guarantees. Unfortunately, the world is not reliable: anything can happen to each of us at any moment… Unfortunately, only this is guaranteed. It seems to be the envy of those who do not suffer from anxiety. But they have a lot to lose. What exactly? Paradox: fear gives our life seriousness and weight. The power of love is equal to the fear of loss. The price of victory is determined by how much uncertainty and doubt we were able to overcome along the way. Knowing your fear coefficient, taking care of your mental and physical strengths — that’s what you need to, having a natural human ability to be afraid, still live the way you think is right.