Unspoken feelings and fears weigh heavily on the heart and can cause even greater psychological and sometimes physiological problems. If there is a crisis — do not be silent, find someone who will listen to you. Why do experts advise voicing difficult life situations?
Speaking out crises — small, big, personal or national — is one of our natural, built-in, healing abilities. We use words to express needs and desires, and the same goes for feelings. In childhood, we find words for parents so that they understand that something happened, they came to the rescue and fixed everything. Almost nothing changes with age. The ability to speak helps out in many ways — especially with a sudden shock, severe injuries, protracted problems and difficult life situations.
Why speak?
At least we are doing something. Speaking is already an active action, we get in touch with the world. The ability to speak gives you the opportunity to hear yourself and listen to yourself. This is an opportunity to gather thoughts and feelings. Saying “I can’t take it anymore” out loud is likely to be followed by “I need help” or “But I’ll try.”
Look for a listener who won’t interrupt
And finally, one has only to share thoughts and feelings with someone — and they are no longer as terrible as they seemed while we kept them in ourselves.
If you need to talk, find someone who will listen. Not everyone is capable of this. Especially if you are experiencing lingering stress, a sudden adversity, or an unresolved situation, such as feeling emotionally empty due to a fatal mistake, work problems, a friendship crisis, or a medical diagnosis.
How to choose a listener?
In such cases, they are looking for someone who will let them talk and keep everything a secret. It is unlikely that anyone would want his secrets to be spread all over the world. If it turns out that you are not ready to talk or have exhausted the topic for a day, a week, a month, and your friends keep coming back to it, do not hesitate to answer that you would prefer not to discuss it now, but, if anything, you know that they are nearby.
Look for a listener who won’t interrupt. Sometimes people can’t help themselves and start talking about their own problems. However, when someone takes the lead in a conversation, you feel even more overwhelmed, helpless, and confused. You can thank for the support and explain that you just want to be listened to.
And most importantly, choose listeners who have experienced the same or a similar situation. Their experience can be very helpful.
Where to find listeners?
If there are no such acquaintances, contact specialists or psychological support groups, which you can find out from your doctor or find information on the Internet. Groups can provide more resources and more listeners, and many of them are online 24/7.
If you have already tried meeting with a support group, ask yourself these questions:
- Are my problems similar to those of other participants?
- Was speaking in a group easier than you thought?
- I was comforted by talking with those who have experienced something similar?
If you answered «Yes» to at least one question, keep going to these meetings or start your own support group.
Speak to ease the pain. Also, by starting such conversations, you will surely be able to help those who are also in trouble. Just talk about your problems.
Source: psychologytoday.com