Do you constantly feel exhausted, exhausted and even tortured and only dream of solitude? Does it seem to you that you never have a normal rest and that “a whole life is not enough” in general for you to be able to get a good night’s sleep? Perhaps the reason is much more serious and deeper than you used to think.
The main thing that is important to understand about trauma is that when we talk about it, we mean not so much the event that happened to us, but how our body and mind reacted to it. Therefore, do not underestimate what happened to you, saying: “Come on, I was worse with others …” You are you, your pain is your pain, and you cannot compare it with the experiences of other people.
Just as it is impossible to “measure” responses to trauma: they depend on how we learned to deal with our emotions in childhood. In addition to the basic and well-known “fight, flight or freeze” options, many of us, when confronted with a traumatic experience, could:
- experience confusion
- feel sleepy,
- fall into depression
- experience anxiety attacks
- get angry
- replaying the same events or irrational thoughts in my head,
- doubt yourself.
The list is endless, but today we will talk about a single reaction.
When faced with trauma, many of us begin to seek solitude. And this in itself is natural and normal: we all need time alone with ourselves, with our feelings and emotions, in order to “recharge our batteries”, think about what happened, decide what to do next. Time alone is generally very beneficial, both for our personal development and for our relationships with others.
The main thing is to understand what is happening to you, to get to the root causes of your condition.
Another question is that if we constantly feel an acute shortage of time alone with ourselves and even begin to provoke situations that would provide us with such time, we can talk about an unlived trauma.
If all we want is peace and loneliness, if we constantly feel tired and cannot rest, recharge, perhaps in this way our psyche is trying to protect us from something hostile, unsafe. Real or non-existent, fictional. Current or remaining deep in the past.
So, if you recognize yourself in the description above, you should know: perhaps the problem is not only in the lack of rest – or not in it at all. Of course, you can and should create a safe space for yourself and support yourself in ways that help you. Among them may be:
- hot shower,
- walks,
- favorite music,
- keeping a diary,
- reading,
- conversations with loved ones
- helping others.
And yet the main thing is to figure out what is happening to you, to get to the bottom of the root causes of your condition. It will help you discover new means of healing from trauma.