The nature of her desire

Each era has its own ideals of attractiveness. Plump lips, big breasts, healthy skin, long legs are in fashion now. Sexuality is demonstrative, stage, ostentatious … But the pendulum, it seems, has already swung in the other direction. And we began to move towards the hidden, hidden female sexuality, which is not in sight, which still needs to be reached.

A man and a woman are different, but built on the principle of complementarity: what one lacks, the other has in abundance. Male sexuality is always in sight, and the feminine is hidden inside. Male energy is vector, sharp, aimed at the goal, and female energy is wave: gentle, fluid, filling all voids.

Sex is an exchange: a woman receives masculine, rough energy, and shares her subtle energy. I like the comparison of a woman with a cherry: outwardly she is soft, seductive, juicy, but everything is kept on a hard basis — a bone. A man is like a nut: the outer layer is a hard shell, and inside is a soft core.

A hundred years ago, the idea of ​​a female orgasm did not exist. Now the opposite is true: his absence worries, and psychologists help a woman learn to enjoy sex. For a man, orgasm is the goal, so nature has interested the male in copulating, and sex is relaxation: he will gladly make love to relieve stress.

For a woman, an orgasm is just a pleasant addition, the process itself is more important to her: enjoying contact, communication, tactility, intimacy … She prefers to get rid of stress not in contact with a man, but with the help of delicious food, shower, bath.

Where does desire come from? In a woman, it is formed long before she finds herself in someone’s arms. It is very important for her that, it would seem, has a very distant relation to sex: whether everything worked out at work, whether all things are done, whether everything is in order with the children, whether she feels loved …

Her desire is born gradually, accumulates, reaches its climax and wanders in the body for a long time: she cannot instantly get out of sexual arousal, her body is still tense and responsive even after orgasm.

How and who does she choose? A man sees a woman and immediately understands whether he wants her or not. A woman, of course, also analyzes external data, but it is important for her to feel that her partner is reliable, because she unconsciously chooses not only a lover for herself, but also a father for her children.

The ability to be responsible for possible offspring is important in a woman’s choice of a partner, it affects both sexuality and love relationships. Women like to say, «He looked at me and I melted.» It’s true… but not really. The woman is the first to give a non-verbal signal that she is ready for contact (not sex, although for him too). If a man does not catch this signal, he will not dare to get acquainted.

Women’s fears are hereditary and evolutionary, there are many of them, they are woven into a ball … A woman has always been forced to think about the consequences, including pregnancy, to be responsible not only for herself, but also for the life of her offspring. Plus, parental prohibitions, an imposed code of conduct, a puritanical attitude towards sex, which has been cultivated in our country for many years.

Mothers did not talk to girls about sex, they considered this topic shameful, taboo. They themselves were tense and anxious, and this was passed on to their children. That is why it is so difficult for many women to relax, forget, let go of themselves. And this is necessary in order to enjoy sex and want to do it.

The stereotypical idea of ​​a woman’s passive role in sex also matters: for some, the unconscious fear of appearing easily accessible or promiscuous easily suppresses the first signs of awakening desire.

And suddenly it will overwhelm me with a head? What happens if, excited, I go beyond all acceptable limits — I allow myself what I want, but I go too far, I scream too loudly, I finally lose my head? All these doubts cause the body to resist and the mind to control behavior. Both are paths past pleasure.

There are many reasons why women fake orgasms. Anxiety and distrust of oneself and a man, a desire to appear sexy, “delicious”, a pro … Or maybe hide behind a free behavior from tightness and inexperience. It is good if a woman begins to find in this «theatre» what is interesting to her. If one day she manages to completely relax and forget about everything, then she will succeed.

Motherhood changes her sexuality. During pregnancy, «drunk» with hormones, she is insatiable in sex. And after giving birth, on the contrary, she can cool down and forget about everything — at some point it may even be strange for her to imagine that before she gave in to her passion so easily. For almost the entire first year, a young mother is only interested in her baby and everything connected with it. The husband often feels neglected.

It usually takes a woman from several months to a year to recover. And often she realizes that she has become different: more self-confident and at the same time more sensual. Motherhood helps her to accept herself, changes her status, increases self-esteem. And all this works for her, for her sexuality, emancipation and expulsion of fears.

Money remains in pairs one of the main taboos. As a rule, a working and earning woman is self-sufficient, she values ​​herself much more. This helps her to be attractive, sexy and enjoy relationships with men more. However, she often gains financial independence in business, and there she has to play according to male laws: be strong-willed and tough, be able to quickly resolve complex issues, and compete.

But if a woman speaks a man’s language for a long time, this is reflected in her sexuality — she begins to lose her femininity, acquiring the features of a brutal, masculine person. If the wife earns more, the husband is often hurt by this, and then conflicts and an unconscious struggle for power arise in the family.

Sometimes, in order to get the better of his wife, the husband begins to reproach her with her work: «You sit in your accounting department and sit.» And she “does” it in sex, answering with her body: “What can you do?” If a woman loves her husband, she will seek to resolve the situation gently, without humiliating or offending him.

For a woman, the main thing in sex is trust, first of all in herself, then in her partner. And for this, she needs to understand her desires, study her needs and stop being afraid of them. And, of course, to be in such a relationship where there is a sense of security, where everyone can talk about their feelings, where partners respect each other’s needs, both are ready to discuss them. A woman will agree to be everything for her man if she feels his love and desire.