It would seem that today nudist beaches should not surprise anyone: the first one appeared in Europe almost half a century ago. However, for some of us, they still cause mixed feelings: at best, embarrassment in half with curiosity, at worst, indignation and disapproval. It is clear that our bodily nakedness affects our sense of self, but how? And how does it relate to emotional openness?
“For the last 20 years, I have been resting only where there is a nudist beach in order to experience this special joy again, when the body is free and nothing separates the skin from air, light, water,” says 46-year-old Inna, who is sure that freedom from clothing “changes the state of mind, gives a feeling of lightness.” But it arises not only from unity with nature.
“Anyone can get naked surrounded by inanimate objects, but nudism only begins when we are among people,” says Gestalt therapist Rimma Efimkina, author of 10 books on psychology, including A Good Woman Is a Dead Woman. – Nudism is a social, not a natural phenomenon. The freedom here is in the courage to withstand the emotional intensity that our nakedness causes in us.
Unvarnished
“There will be no curiosity or condemnation in the eyes of others, only acceptance,” 32-year-old Valery is convinced, “so I can open up to them completely, I don’t need to embellish myself or defend myself.” On a nudist beach, he feels among like-minded people.
Clothes are socially marked, they contain information about the place that we occupy in society (income, lifestyle, age, gender). A swimsuit is also clothing, despite the minimalism. “When I put on a swimsuit, it seems to me that others compare me to beach fashion models, which I don’t look like at all with a weight of 90 kg,” admits 28-year-old Svetlana. “And without clothes, I am my own ideal model and in this sense I am flawless!”
The very presence of a choice – to be in clothes or without it – expands the possibilities, and hence the area of freedom.
Nudity on a nude beach is different from nudity in a medical office. In the second case, the doctor-patient relationship is not equal, the patient is the object of attention of the doctor performing his professional function. And on the beach, everyone represents only himself.
There is no “should” in this, just as there is no “should not”. Only your own choice. It can be different: it is easy to see that not everyone wants to go to a nudist beach. Nevertheless, the very existence of the choice – to be in clothes or not – expands the possibilities, and hence the area of freedom.
Bans inside and out
“I would never dare to undress in the presence of others, if there is no iron necessity,” admits 43-year-old Tatyana and adds: “I don’t understand why I should do this at all.” But really, why?
“We take off our clothes, making love, so in order to feel unity with nature, you need nothing to interfere,” explains Inna. Perhaps there is also the joy of liberation from habitual social restrictions. “We do not cross the ban, and what can be banned here? Valery objected. – To protect morality? But adults have the right to engage in their own morality. We do not impose our way of rest on anyone. Why should someone dictate how we behave? Nudists have their own beach, and we don’t go to others and teach them how to act. And “moralists” come to us from time to time. True, they don’t stay long: they, dressed, feel uncomfortable with us.”
To go to a nude beach, we need trust in the world: we need to trust that others will not rush to shame us.
Prohibitions, where they do not serve to protect the rights of another person, are only a way to show their power. “Nudity is our natural state, this is how we come into the world,” continues Rimma Efimkina. – But, as Freud pointed out, at the anal stage, that is, during potty training, socialization occurs: at this time, the child learns the rules of behavior and builds his attitude to authority. If his parents were strict with him, scolded him and shamed him, later he learns to condemn and shame himself. In the future, he not only limits himself in various manifestations – after all, he was once punished for this – but he also becomes angry when others allow themselves what he himself cannot afford.
To go to a nude beach, we need trust in the world: we need to trust that others will not rush to shame us and will not abuse our defenselessness, for example, for sexual purposes. But where can we get this trust if our parents did not give it to us?
Security zone
There are two ways – new experience gives new experiences. And new experiences open up opportunities for new experiences. If we do not have the initial feeling of trust we received from our parents, we can start by expanding the safe space within ourselves, by trusting ourselves.
“Nakedness at the level of the body is symbolically connected with nakedness at the level of feelings,” notes Rimma Efimkina. “I am naked among people” is a common dream theme, and participants in psychological training often have such dreams after the first day. This is the result of an experience of emotional exposure. Usually we hide many feelings from ourselves and from others. In the group it is allowed to open up, to show oneself without embellishment, and dreams show this as the disappearance of clothes.
Refusing to protect clothing, we become more sensitive to our own experiences and to the experiences of another.
You can open up where it is safe. This requirement is met by a psychological group and a nudist beach. The difference is that in psychological training, participants at the very beginning stipulate the rules of interaction (voluntariness, confidentiality, respect for boundaries), and on nudist beaches, these same rules usually apply by default.
Refusing to protect clothes, we apparently become more sensitive to our own feelings and to the feelings of another, and we try to carefully observe the main law of ethics: not to do to another what we would not want for ourselves.
“Time passed, and no one pointed a finger at me”
Sergey, 59, tells how he ended up on a nude beach. What did this experience give him?
“I first came to such a beach just five years ago, horrified at the prospect of walking around naked in front of an “astonished public,” as I then thought. But I recently got married, and my wife turned out to be a supporter of “naked” swimming and flatly refused to go to a common beach. What was I to do? I came in swimming trunks, of course, but I felt stupid. All undressed, and I am alone as if with a tie. I took them off and lay on my stomach, hid my face, like I’m sunbathing. For the first half hour, I waited for something to happen, for example, someone would say: “How can you ?!” With my mind I understood that there were people around as naked as me, but I was still ashamed, I was afraid to look around.
However, time passed, nothing terrible happened, no one looked at me, no one pointed a finger. Everyone went about their business: sunbathing, swimming, playing volleyball, laughing. I began to feel warmth, a breeze, sand under my stomach. My wife was nearby, looked at me with a smile and was not at all embarrassed, this also added courage to me.
The next challenge was to get up and go to sea. I almost ran and, with relief, disappeared into the water, immediately swam, but away. And suddenly a dolphin surfaced for a second, almost under my arm. And I went out already calmly, in no hurry, did not hide my eyes. Someone else’s nudity didn’t bother me before, but now my own has stopped: here I am as I am. Perhaps this can be called self-acceptance. I don’t have any philosophy about it, I just like it.”