The woman with her own hands disconnected the child from the artificial respiration apparatus.
A heartbroken mother shared a photo of a heartbreaking moment: as she carries her terminally ill son down the hallway to say goodbye to him forever.
39-year-old Tammy Ayreson from a small English town has done what many of the mothers could not. Realizing that her 4-month-old son Wilber was doomed to suffer, she disconnected him from the life support apparatus.
With this photo she wanted to support other parents who have lost their child. And also to show that even after such grief, you can find a way to live on …
Before pregnancy, Tammy suffered from a severe stage of endometriosis (a disease in which tissue from the inner layers of the wall of the uterus grows outside of it). The woman was already sent to remove the uterus, when suddenly she found out that she was pregnant.
“We met with the child’s father, Mark, for only three months. I was worried about what my boyfriend would say, but I knew for sure that I would give birth, no matter what. So my pregnancy was a miracle. Fortunately, Mark supported my decision, ”Tammy recalls.
The future parents were expecting the baby with pleasant excitement, but at the 20th week, during the screening, it turned out that the child could not unbend the arms. The woman refused to be analyzed for fetal pathology, because to take the material, she would have to pierce the fetal bladder. It is not known whether it will be possible to communicate the pregnancy after that. In addition, Tammy decided that with any diagnosis she would give birth.
“Wilber barely moved in my stomach, but I could feel him rolling in response to my strokes. The connection between us was strong from the very beginning, says Tammy. – Doctors repeatedly asked me if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but I refused each time.
I already loved him so much that I believed that he deserves at least a short life.
The doctors didn’t give good predictions, and I didn’t want my son to suffer. But I also hoped that one day I could still bring it home. “
The pregnancy was difficult, and at the 32nd week the woman underwent an emergency caesarean. The newborn baby could not breathe, so he was immediately taken to intensive care.
“We didn’t know if he would survive his first night, but he got through,” says Wilber’s mom. “He was getting stronger every day.”
Later, doctors diagnosed the boy with a rare gene mutation that caused congenital myopathy (muscle dystrophy) and severe arthrogryposis (underdevelopment of the joints, deformity of the arms and legs). Wilber’s muscles were so weak that he could neither move nor even breathe on his own. The child needed round-the-clock supervision.
“Wilber couldn’t move his arms or legs, but after the course of physical therapy, he started to move a little,” says Tammy. “In the few weeks that Wilber was in the hospital, we have developed a strong bond. My boy loved it when I stroked him on the back, gave him a massage. I loved him so much and felt how much he loved me in return. The nurses joked: they always knew when Wilber wanted something: he stared at them so intently that they felt the power of his gaze across the room. “
However, Wilber never saw his home. 12 weeks after birth, the baby suddenly had a heart failure. And although they managed to pump out the baby, the brain was severely damaged due to a lack of oxygen.
The mother watched in despair as the doctors tried to save her son.
He eventually came to his senses, but as soon as I opened my eyes, I realized that my little boy was gone. His gaze was blank. He no longer recognized me, did not respond to my touch. Our connection was lost.
The doctors advised the mother to give the child time. They still hoped that the baby would recover. However, two weeks later it became clear that the damage was irreversible.
Realizing how her son was suffering, Tammy made the difficult decision to disconnect her son from life support. On that day, a medical team helped the couple move into a separate room to say goodbye to their son. Then that very photo was taken.
“That day, for the first time since Wilber was born, I was able to take him for a walk. But when I walked with him along the corridor of the hospital, I realized that this was our first and last walk. I broke down and burst into tears. Then Mark took that photo. “
The woman admitted that she had decided in advance to take as many farewell pictures with her son as possible.
“Yes, these moments will be painful to remember, but not having photos of every precious last minute with our son would be infinitely worse,” she explained.
Tammy hugged and comforted the baby, sang and whispered to him so that he would not be afraid. And when the child was disconnected from the apparatus, she put the already lifeless son in a stroller and took him for a walk near the hospital. Tammy smiled for a photo, posing with her son, and inside was heartbroken.
“This was the first time I was able to photograph Wilber’s face without pipes and wires,” she says.
Now those pictures stand in a place of honor in Tammy and Mark’s house. Every evening, candles are lit near the photographs in memory of Wilber.
In addition to a photo to remember the baby, Tammy was left with a plush elephant with a record of her son’s heartbeat inside, the prints of his arms and legs, and a tiny bun of hair.
A small handful of ashes is what was left of Wilber, the unhappy woman carries with her on holidays and walks, and even puts on the table during festive dinners. So Tammy wants to show that Wilber remains a part of her life.
“The grief for the lost child will never be less, but somehow we become stronger to withstand it,” says the baby’s mother. “Not an hour goes by that I don’t think about what our future with Wilber would be. But I am so grateful for the weeks I spent with him when I felt his warmth. “
After this tragedy, Tammy decided not to give up and is determined to get pregnant again.
“Before I had Wilber, I thought that I would no longer be able to have children, I was already preparing for the removal of the uterus. That is why I am so grateful to my son: he helped me understand that I should not give up this dream. “