Good day to all! We have already examined in the article “What is non-verbal communication and how to recognize the emotional state of a person” the types and characteristics of gestures, facial expressions, intonation and postures. And today I want to add the most interesting features of a non-verbal relationship so that you can easily recognize the state of another person and win him over. And then in business negotiations or a romantic meeting you will not be equal, and you will be able to achieve your goals with just the right posture and attitude.
Rules
- Each country has its own, «local» interpretation of gestures, facial expressions and personal zonal space. Therefore, before interpreting the non-verbal manifestations of another, if you are traveling, you need to study the communication style of people of the particular country in which you are. For example, our favorite gesture «okay» in Portugal would be regarded as an insult. Or, for example, we are accustomed to communicating with strangers at arm’s length, letting only acquaintances and loved ones come closer. But in Latin America, a stranger can easily afford to approach you at a distance of 30 cm, and this will not be considered a violation of your boundaries or regarded as signs of sympathy.
- It is necessary to interpret gestures only in combination with other non-verbal manifestations, combining with the information that your partner pronounces. Because one gesture has a huge number of interpretations. Depending on the circumstances accompanying the manifestations of the body, sometimes even opposite. And this complex coincidence is called congruence. And in case of its absence, the interlocutor will take non-verbal manifestations as reliable information, not believing your words.
- The context of manifestations of movements and postures, the situation itself is very important. For example, in a cold room, a person will cross his arms and legs, not because he is not ready to communicate with you openly and confidentially, but because he is experiencing cold. He’s trying to keep warm.
- If you can’t decipher what exactly is going on with the person, feel free to ask direct, clarification-oriented questions.
Techniques for effective business and personal communication
1. A smile is a universal way to win over
No matter what country you are in. Only if the smile is sincere, not forced. If you notice the absence of asymmetry and the presence of «crow’s feet» near the eyes, that is, wrinkles, then be sure you are really welcome. But raised eyebrows at the same time indicate tension and anxiety at the moment. Especially when they give a compliment. In this case, a person is trying to deceive and gain confidence.
2. There is a lot of energy in the interest
Therefore, in a sincere conversation, the interlocutor will never yawn. He will sit straight, look into your eyes and talk cheerfully, slightly leaning forward with his body towards you. If you want to be believed that you are interested, and that there is congruence, put your hands in parallel, whether on the table or on your knees, as long as the palms are facing up. But if you want to give yourself the appearance of a confident person who has taken place — put your hands on the table with your palms down.
3. Mirror the other
If you want to quickly establish communication and build his trust in relation to you. That is, casually take a pose, like his. Use the same words, even if you usually use different ones. Thus, there will be a feeling of similarity, closeness, which will significantly affect the outcome of the conversation. And, having copied the pose, try to listen to your feelings and the feelings that arise. So it will be easier to understand what is happening at the moment with another person.
4. Follow your gaze
Because if most of the time during a conversation you look at the floor or to the side, there will be no confidence in you. Try to look directly at the communication partner all the time, but with breaks so that it is not regarded as aggression.
5. If you want to impress on a romantic date
Remember that the size of your pupils conveys most of the information that the interlocutor will even unconsciously read and understand whether you are really likeable or not. Pupils dilate when we look at what we like, think about it, or if we are in a dimly lit environment.
6. To feel more confident, sit up straight with a straight back.
You will simply feel how you begin to perceive yourself differently, and subsequently those around you. After all, you must admit, there is little faith in the success of a hunched or stooped person.
7.Fast reading of information
The human brain is able to recognize the emotional state of the interlocutor in a fifth of a second. Therefore, if you want to impress, but feel anxiety or fear. Find a place where you will be alone with yourself and try to tune in to the necessary sensations. You can do this with the help of affirmations and other techniques, which I talked about in the article “How you can program yourself for success using the simplest methods of working on yourself.” And no matter what methods you use, the main thing is that in the first seconds of the conversation you do not give out your anxiety and insecurity on a non-verbal level.
Chips
Influence of drinks
Did you know that the temperature of the drink that you choose at any meeting affects the perception of the interlocutor and the conversation itself?
For example, if you drink warm tea or coffee, due to the fact that unconsciously there are sensations associated with comfort and coziness, you will create a trusting relationship with another person. And accordingly, the feeling of a cold glass or a bottle of water will keep you on your toes, and during business negotiations you will be able to think rationally without falling for tricks.
By the way, this method can be used when you want to win over your partner by offering him a cup of hot and fragrant tea.
Loss of composure
If you feel like you are losing your temper or need to make an urgent decision. Are you confused and out of control? Tighten your calves, toes, or clench your hands into a fist. Then try to feel how you sit, how your feet touch the floor. Thus, you will return to yourself, your body, your very real physical sensations, which, accordingly, will help you look at the situation from a different angle, feeling the ground under your feet. And it will also give you confidence.
physical contact
To influence any decision in your favor will help the usual patting on the shoulder or touching it. The main thing is that this touch should be by chance and not imposed, and even more so familiar. This gesture evokes trust and a sense of intimacy. It is commonly used in sales and services to encourage customers to stay longer in the store or leave a good tip.
Handshakes
The features of a handshake are not only that it disposes to itself and sets up for warm cooperation, reducing the risk of being deceived. The Harvard Business School conducted research, the results of which revealed. Those people who shook hands upon meeting each other subsequently made more honest deals than those who ignored this gesture of greeting.
This happens because when we touch another, we immediately feel it, it is alive and real for us, empathy arises for it. And in the absence of touch, our interlocutor is perceived more as an object with which we want to satisfy our needs.
An interesting feature about mirroring
It is able not only to arrange the interlocutor and give an opportunity to feel his condition, but also helps to find a creative solution to any problem. That is, it is necessary to organize a team whose members during the discussion and brainstorming will simultaneously perform some movements, for example, nodding their heads. This gives a tremendous result, setting up the team for cooperation and allowing it to develop brilliant ideas.
Follow your face
To objectively perceive information, watch the muscles of your face. If your eyebrows are furrowed, and your lips and cheekbones are tense, you will negatively evaluate the content of an email or the words of another person. Try to sit comfortably, concentrate on your face, gradually relaxing the muscles until you feel that the look has become calmer and less tense. Similarly, use sign language when communicating with another person.
If you notice that the interlocutor is frowning, start a conversation about something pleasant, so that he laughs or relaxes, and when you notice that the muscles of his face are not so tense, return to the topic of your communication.
If you are worried about something
Are you very upset and can not calm down? There is one movement that can help you relax. You should raise your hand, which is convenient for you, and sharply, while exhaling loudly, throw it down. You can repeat several times, mentally or out loud saying something that you want to say. This helps to release excess energy and tune in to the awareness of the problem and the way to solve it, instead of just worrying.
Conclusion
That’s all, dear readers! If you want to learn more information and nuances in deciphering the signals that the body sends, I recommend that you look at my article «TOP 10 best books on non-verbal communication worth reading.» There I compiled a list of the main literature on the study of body language. Open the boundaries of understanding your own and other people’s behavior, then you will be able to succeed in any area, not allowing yourself to be deceived and led astray.
Subscribe to updates, soon I will release articles of a completely new format! See you soon on the blog pages.