Everything said here is true under one indispensable condition: if the child lives in a loving family. That is, in a family where they love him and everyone else. That parents love their child is natural. Much has been written about how to show love to him. But here’s what I want to emphasize in particular, this the necessity of mutual love of parents, which their children should see, in which they should not have a shadow of a doubt.
Probably, every woman has a list of claims to her husband, quite sufficient for a divorce. Any man can present his wife with a similar, chilling list of her sins, from which it will be clear that it is impossible to live with her. But people nevertheless live together for decades, pitying and forgiving each other, live happily in happy families and raise happy and protected children.
If there is at least something in a marriage that you can cling to in order to fix it, the spouses simply have to do everything in their power to maintain and strengthen their marriage, to make life together comfortable and happy.
If you have children, then the responsibility for the family is the main thing in your life. A mother who decides to divorce without extremely compelling reasons for this should be fully aware that her children are needed only by her and their own father. No stepfather will ever love stepchildren the way they love relatives. Therefore, the decision to divorce, taken by a woman, must rest on extremely good grounds.
“It happens that prosperous couples break up just because they lacked devotion to the family. And there are families, at first glance, dysfunctional, with a million problems that are eventually resolved, because the parents are devoted to each other and to the children. Even if you have a lot of family problems, remember that the main thing in a family is love. And love is work, painstaking, everyday work. If both of you, both husband and wife, understand this, you will be able to overcome differences in temperaments, characters, habits, and devotion to the family, will and energy will help you cope with all problems.
Children pay for a failed marriage. But if the situation cannot be corrected, if the spouses are not able to live together in a good way, then the best alternative to such a marriage is still a divorce. “For children, it is better to live with one parent than in an atmosphere of terrible scandals and showdowns between spouses.”
Single parents can do their job as a parent and surround their children with love, it’s just harder for them to do this than a complete family.
This is the point of view of the consultant on family relations, the happy father of nine adult children, American psychologist Victor Kline.