Invite your parents to dinner at your house often, talk to them and hug them, because this can save their lives! A new study proves that frequent meetings with parents can improve their quality of life, give them new hope and new goals.
Whether you’re an extrovert who enjoys parties and large groups, or an introvert who prefers family life, you’ll probably agree that being forced to be alone is hard. Moreover, loneliness and isolation from society lead to a decrease in life expectancy.
This conclusion was made by scientists from the University of California at San Francisco. They studied 1600 people around the age of 70 and found that while human health and socioeconomic factors most significantly affect life expectancy, people who live alone die earlier than those who continue to communicate with their loved ones.
Often for parents, relationships with us are one of the main reasons and incentives for life.
Sociologist Barbara Moskowitz explains: “Throughout our lives, we need to be surrounded by people who know us, love us, appreciate us, and ultimately make us happy. With age, this need does not disappear anywhere. First of all, this applies to parents: the older they are, the more important role family relations play for them. Often for them this is one of the main reasons and incentives for life.
In old age, we especially value good family relationships and contacts. However, children are less and less able to find free time due to work, raising their own children, problems, worries and responsibilities that fall on their shoulders. This coin also has a downside: many find it difficult to accept the fact that parents are aging. Someone completely ceases to maintain contact with them.
At the same time, parents, most likely, do not have to see you every day, but it is important for them to be aware of your news, everything that happens in your life. Connecting with you gives them a sense of security, they know that if necessary, they can always turn to you. It’s also important for your parents to know that you still need them.
Do not panic
Aging can be a tough time for them and for you, especially if patience isn’t your strong point. Try to put yourself in their place. How would you feel if you lost your job, health, energy? Social life is reduced to a minimum, they spend their days yearning for a bygone youth – perhaps, remembering this, it will be easier for you to accept their mood swings and excessive interest in what is happening in your life.
Pick up the phone and call them to tell them how your day went, to find out how they spent their day.
Stimulating the development of relationships between older people in their society is just as important as giving them the opportunity to spend time with their family. That is why many older people flourish, gain new strength by signing up for various classes, joining an “age” club or group. This gives them the opportunity to socialize and meet people their age with similar life experiences. They have something to talk about with each other.
Spending time together is important not only for them, but also for us: we need their wisdom, advice, stories. They need our support. Pick up the phone and call them, just to tell them how the day went, to find out how they spent their day. Invite them to dinner or visit yourself.
Their need for care and companionship is so great that you most likely will not be able to fully satisfy it. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. If we help parents recognize and adapt to the new stage in their lives, they will be able to embrace old age.