In a natural (natural) society, children are not loved, but prepared for life: what is needed — they show, when it is necessary — they lick or spank. If you say that a mother bear loves her children, then we must admit that her love is simple and active: the cubs receive slaps from their mother right and left, they squeak, but as a result, everyone is cheerful and healthy and everyone is moving in the right direction.
All right.
But now a Good Man has appeared in such a natural society. Loving Mom. She does not want to spank, she wants to catch the smile of the baby and she wants to be loved. She wants to love!
Great!
And she starts to do it: when everyone around is demandingly spanking, she smiles and asks warmly. And it doesn’t even punish at all … The question is: will it be effective in education? The answer is yes, definitely, her method will be not only effective, but, most likely, more effective than that of the same tough other moms and dads.
Indeed, consider this situation from the point of view of a child. You are surrounded by tough adults, a step to the left, a step to the right is an educational impact, there is no choice, you still have to behave correctly. But suddenly one of the adults starts not spanking you, but smiling at you, giving you not kicks, but sweets, and not demanding from you, but asking warmly. What, fulfill his requests, considering that otherwise all the other nasty adults will still force you to do what needs to be done?
And where you go is like choosing between a delicious breakfast and a hard spanking: no one will choose a spanking.
Bottom line: Good Mom discovers that the method of love is more effective than demanding training. The child himself runs to do what he had to force before! Hooray! She tells other mothers that you can not bathe, not achieve, not control, but only smile and love. And if anything — forgive … And soon there will be many Kind Mothers who also turn out to be more effective in raising children than their tough counterparts! Hooray! The great pedagogical discovery went to the masses!
What is the result?
When there are many such quick-witted Kind Moms and Dads, when they cease to be a single occurrence, children suddenly discover that they can simply not be listened to. Because there are no tough dads and moms, who, if something happens, are no longer there, and there is no one to be afraid of. And those who smile — well … When I want — I’ll listen, when I have other plans — I’ll let them know. Better yet, I will make them obey me. After all, do they love me? Yes? Great?
And most importantly: given that everyone wants to love children (including the author of these lines), do something now — what?
Morale for now: if you have tried soft solutions around a tough teacher and found that you have wonderful results, do not rush to consider yourself too smart and promote your achievements: perhaps you are so successful only because of the hard work around.