It is important to share “little” good news, but it is equally important to be able to meet them with warmth, responding with words of support to the revelation of a friend, colleague, or family member. Especially if, due to life circumstances, they care for the sick and the needy. Medical and social communications specialist Zachary White talks about the big meaning of “small” events.
Ordinary day, ordinary day. And suddenly something important happens. Something that can replace a whole conversation. We exchange smiles with a loved one.
The significance of this event can be understood by those who raise a child with a serious diagnosis — when for the first time at the age of three the baby smiles at his mother. The one who cares for his father dying of cancer. The one who visits the husband in the hospital who had an accident. Or those who work or volunteer in hospices, hospitals, nursing homes or nursing homes…
A mutual smile is surprising and pleasant. It is important, and it is she who we take with us on a day full of experiences and deeds. It is she who gives us a sense of closeness.
We are overwhelmed with emotions, and there is a desire to share them with someone: with a friend, partner, parent, colleague. We want to share good news. Find words to express what you felt at a certain moment.
Ignorance and frustration
What could happen next? Medical and social communications specialist Zachary White suggests thinking about the value of response and support precisely in moments when people share such pleasant “little things” with each other.
What responses can we face?
- «Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he’s getting better.»
- «Are you sure you’re not exaggerating? Was it really a smile?
- «Why are you texting me this when I’m at work? What’s so special about it?»
We are desperately waiting for support, we want the interlocutor to rejoice with us, but we are faced with something completely different and as a result we are left alone with ourselves. No contact. Without attention. We and our impulse were ignored. Bad and shocking news is usually met with attention, especially in medical settings and in the field of nursing. Probably because everyone knows how difficult and uncomfortable it is to report something unpleasant.
Lack of answers makes us feel disconnected from our own experience, distorts our reality
Failure to openly share good news, however small, with family, friends, and colleagues can be devastating. This situation does not meet our expectations and changes the attitude towards others.
- “If they can’t enjoy the good times with me, then what can they appreciate?”
- “If they don’t understand how important this is to me, then do they even know who I am?
- “If they can’t recognize the importance of what I say to them, are they really my friends?”
When our good news is met with silence, disdain, or even rejection, it doesn’t just change how we relate to others. Lack of answers in such situations can make us feel disconnected from our own experience, distorting our reality.
In order to continue to care, it is necessary to find opportunities to openly live the positive moments of our experience.
We cannot completely ignore the opinions of others, and if the good that happens to us is underestimated by others, we are less likely to take advantage of it and remember it.
We will still exchange smiles with our loved one, but we will no longer consider this moment worth sharing. And if we don’t share our experiences, there will be consequences, White reminds us. A shared smile can be seen but not remembered because we are not given the opportunity to elaborate on what it means to us.
These situations are especially common for carers of the sick. In order to continue caring for those who need us, it is necessary to find opportunities to openly live the positive moments of our experience.
collective closeness
When we share good news, we don’t just pass on the facts to others. The collective recognition of pleasant experiences creates bonds of intimacy that deepen relationships with others. That is why it is so important when others notice and comment on our reality, saying in response:
- «It’s so cool! What did you feel when the baby smiled at you?
- «I’m so glad you felt each other.»
- “What you do is very important and people need it!”
In moments like these, intimacy is born. Our good news is not only ours now. “This kind of collective intimacy helps to understand that while others may not be physically with us, they are always our collaborators in shaping the experience,” explains Zachary White. “That’s how they support us through our most meaningful and difficult experiences.”
About the Expert: Zachary White is a medical and social communications specialist.