Contents
Breakups are almost always difficult. And at the moment when you accepted what happened and gradually learn to live in a new free status, the one who first spoke about the breakup suddenly makes it clear that he wants to return. Why it happens?
At first, he reminds of himself with a cautious SMS message. You begin to correspond, meet and understand that your ex is ready to give the relationship a second chance. Why would? The reasons can be very different.
1. Wounded pride
Finding a new partner is almost always about not only rejecting someone, you get rejected too. This can hurt your pride and remind you of the times when you were loved, appreciated and accepted.
And this is one of the reasons for such a sudden return. Be careful not to let yourself be made a fallback that will help your ex build self-esteem quickly and easily.
2. Force of habit
Spending time with an ex can be as pleasant and cozy as pulling on an old favorite sweater in cold weather. This makes it possible to avoid those awkward moments that are associated with new acquaintances.
And you both could miss each other, and then the reunion can be especially passionate. In general, such a meeting promises exceptionally joyful emotions. The question is for how long? After all, the reasons why you broke up are still not worked out, and the problems have not been eradicated.
3. Sex
Let’s be honest – this is an important part of our relationship, which can strengthen them, but parting can also provoke. If you were connected by sex that gave pleasure to both, then returning to free swimming and finding a new partner can give a man an unpleasant surprise. A new partner with different habits, wishes and requirements… It’s all so difficult! It is much easier to return to you, understanding, accepting and so familiar.
It is worth making sure that sex is not the only reason why a partner decides to restore a relationship. It is important to understand how he sees your union and what he is ready to change so that you do not part again.
4. Internal confusion
Even if the partner himself decided to leave you, he, like you, inevitably goes through the difficult stages of parting. At some point, mental pain (because he also experiences it) becomes unbearable, and now he is ready for anything to plunge into pleasant emotions. It is their meeting with you that guarantees him.
It happens that only after losing a loved one, we understand how dear he is to us.
This is how our brain plays deceptively with us: by default, it chooses the path of least resistance.
The worst thing you can do is let a person who hasn’t sorted out their feelings play with you. Before agreeing to a relationship, talk to him to understand his motives.
5. Sincere willingness to start over
It happens that only after losing a loved one, we realize how dear he is to us. If this is exactly what happened to your ex, then he will be ready for an honest conversation. And he initiates it.
What words will show that he is serious this time?
- He understands that you need to change a lot in the relationship, and for his part, he is ready for compromises in order to solve the problems that led to your separation.
- He is ready to act: he offers you something to radically change in your life or to visit a family therapist together.
- He recognizes that he is responsible for his decision in the past, and for your joint future.
And this is the only reason why it is really worth trying to start over.