As a rule, fathers who adhere to traditional parenting principles do not build trusting relationships with their sons. They are convinced that their role is to raise an independent, independent and strong man. And sometimes their educational methods border on cruelty – the hero of our story was convinced of this.
“My father kicked me out of the house when I was 18 years old. He said that there can only be one man in the house, ”the 25-year-old user, who wished to remain anonymous, began his story on the Web. His parent refused to provide him with even minimal assistance in the first stage of an independent life, and soon completely cut off all contacts.
Naturally, the young man immediately needed money, and he found a low-paying job, where he worked five days a week from 9:00 to 17:00. All the free time and all the money saved, the narrator invested in starting his own online business. During this difficult period, his father forced the rest of the family not to communicate with him.
Finally, when the narrator turned 23, his business began to make a profit – then he quit his main job and completely went into the development of the project. Things were going uphill, and one day a journalist from a financial publication contacted him, who became interested in the story of his success. He interviewed him, and after a while the article appeared on the site.
It is worth mentioning that the father of a young businessman follows stock news and regularly looks at the very site where the interview with his son was published. As you might guess, he could not help but notice the material, the hero of which was his child. Perhaps the son unconsciously wanted the parent to know about his successes – and became proud of him or regretted his act.
One way or another, the reality turned out to be much harsher. The father immediately called the author of the post and called him a bad son
The man insulted him and claimed that he had to talk about his success and send him money every month. In the end, the father even demanded that his son give him access to all bank accounts – after all, in his opinion, he is now responsible for the whole family and must provide for it.
And although the young man does not consider himself wrong in this situation, he nevertheless turned to Internet users for advice. Here is what they answered him:
- “If there can only be one man in the house, he doesn’t need a second man to pay the bills, right?”
- “You don’t owe him anything. Congratulations on your success in your business.”
- “Change your phone number and don’t talk to him again. He literally kicked you out and only contacted you after he found out you were rich.”
- “Regardless of how your father treated you, he has no right to everything that you have earned as an adult. It is not your responsibility to support him.”
Indeed, it is difficult to reproach the hero of the story with disrespect for the parent – after all, the father acted with him in a completely unrelated way, and he has the right to be angry with him. Of course, this does not mean that parents should indulge all the whims of adult children and help them financially all their lives. Still, one of their main tasks is to dispel the illusions of the child and prepare him for life’s difficulties.
However, the extreme version of education — “throw a child into the water to teach them to swim” is almost never effective. Children to whom such methods of education were used lose confidence in their parents and, even in adulthood, may hold a grudge against them for cruel deeds, even if they were guided by good intentions.
That is why parents must find the perfect balance: avoid overprotection and excessive control, so as not to raise a child as infantile, and at the same time not leave him to the mercy of fate, trying to teach independence.