Margarita Zhamkochyan read for us the book by Allen Carr «The Easy Way to Quit Smoking»
“Many psychologists are naturally skeptical about books that promise immediate healing and happiness. Especially if the author insists that it is easy to do! The title of every Allen Carr book begins with «the easy way.» This usually attracts those who do not want to suffer, getting rid of bad habits, and scares away those who always try to earn success by work and suffering. Nevertheless, Carr’s books are read by millions and have helped many. The lucky ones report their success with surprise and glee. Their feelings are similar to the joy of a new believer — the joy of metamorphosis. So what happens when one state jumps (easily!) into another (let’s call it a transformation)? The first thing Carr discovers for himself and his readers is the transformation of purpose. Instead of a negatively formulated wish “not to smoke”, “not to be afraid to fly”, “not to overeat”, he reformulates the goal — “start to rejoice”, “have fun”. And he does this in almost every little chapter of his books. Do not quit smoking, but become a non-smoker, enjoy free breathing, free time … A similar transformation of the goal — from a negative formulation to a positive one — is also used by psychotherapists in their work. This method is based on scientific facts: as if our psyche “does not know” the denial of “not”, when we tell ourselves “do not strain”, the devices record the opposite — muscle contraction.
The second transformation is the transformation of the «secondary» benefits that we receive from our addiction. What is a «secondary» benefit? “Yes, I don’t mind quitting smoking, but I can’t do it, because it protects me from stress, helps me communicate, collect my thoughts …” Allen Carr carefully analyzes such benefits and fears and shows that in fact these are pseudo-benefits and pseudo-fears . And when the reader is tuned in to joy and sees the benefits of this state, this transition occurs. Smoking, for example, with pleasure the last cigarette, he goes into the camp of non-smokers and also — to pleasure. The transformation has taken place. Well, if it didn’t work out, no one promised! The lightness of the author’s position is charming! But for me, as an expert, it does not cause rejection.