When the barrier created by cigarette smoke between us and the world dissipates, a person’s personality changes dramatically. How can you help yourself overcome your bad habit?
“When the law came out banning smoking in public places, in particular in cafes, I was upset,” recalls 37-year-old Daniil. – I smoked 2 packs a day, and life without cigarettes seemed unthinkable to me. Then, in order not to experience my emotions as violence against myself, I decided to quit before the law would forbid me to smoke.
How do I feel? Hard to say. I’m fighting. It’s hard to hold on. I ask myself if I did the right thing, and I answer myself: it will definitely be good for my health, and I have gained some lightness. Daniil is by no means the only example: according to the Ministry of Health, during the anti-tobacco campaign, the number of smokers decreased by almost 15%. And the ministry in 2020 received an award from the World Health Organization for its contribution to the fight against smoking.
41-year-old Elena has not smoked for 2 years: “But I really liked it! I miss a cigarette every minute. But I hold on and try not to start again, because the process itself, when I quit, was very difficult. I think I will miss smoking for the rest of my life. I’m still a smoker who just doesn’t give in to temptation and will try not to give in for the rest of her days.”
A hardened addicted smoker will forever remain one, even if he quit
“He remains so to the marrow of his bones throughout the year, physiologically and psychologically, behaviorally and socially,” says Giacomo Manjaracina, president of the Italian Anti-Smoking Society.
This means that a person can start smoking again after six months or after a 15-year break. Longing for tobacco hardly leaves smokers. Most of them live with memories of the pleasure, joy and comfort that a cigarette gave them.
And yet they struggle with temptation every day. This fight is endless. All ex-smokers admit that it took them a lot of effort to quit smoking. But those who were able to survive this difficult period of “withdrawal” taught their bodies to live without tobacco. Those who conquered the temptation claim that their personality changed when they got rid of this bad habit.
Fight temptation
All ex-smokers confess their weakness to tobacco. Nostalgia for pleasure keeps most people from quitting right away, in one moment. Some are closer to an ambivalent attitude towards smoking. The “cigarette-lighter” tandem itself already combines a small fraction of the lost sensations.
36-year-old Oleg quit smoking 3 years ago: “I am constantly surrounded by people who smoke. Sometimes I take a couple of puffs, but I get dizzy. So I’m a passive smoker now, and I kind of like it.”
40-year-old Anton does not smoke for a year: “Not a day goes by that I do not want to smoke. But I’m holding on Only on special occasions do I allow myself a cigarette, if it happens at a party or at a party, I look for someone who smokes for a long time to “shoot” with him.
Others hide behind total intolerance to smoking to resist.
They build a real wall between themselves and cigarettes. After 20 years of smoking 2 packs a day, 42-year-old Maxim now cannot stand smoke: “I can’t breathe because of him, I just suffocate.” He doesn’t even hire smokers.
“Aggression,” continues Manjaracina, “is revealed only in some cases. It’s a projective phenomenon that can be very well controlled: it’s like you’re punishing yourself through other people.”
For some, tobacco is a pleasure associated with others. In this case, quitting smoking means giving up all the threads associated with this addiction.
“Quitting smoking,” says 29-year-old Alina, “I also gave up alcohol, parties, refused some food. For almost a certain period, I even stopped breathing … ”This is an example of creating total control over your own life, depriving yourself of almost everything, just not to break.
In fact, everyone is tormented by the same obsession: to break loose. All ex-smokers, well, or almost all, after unsuccessful attempts, had to admit that tobacco was stronger than them. Only in very rare cases, a hardened smoker manages to quit the first time: as a rule, 2-3 attempts are needed to defeat the addiction.
Learn to reallocate your time
Why is quitting smoking so difficult? Because addiction is physiological in nature and the body requires its daily dose. However, this explanation is not enough.
“According to irrefutable statistics, 60-70% of women who smoke and 30% of men who smoke have psychological problems and would need support even if they did not smoke,” explains Aldo Nagar, psychologist, director of the hypnotherapy center for smoking cessation.
– A dose of nicotine is taken to improve the state of mind. The cigarette is an incredible drug with anxiolytic and antidepressant properties. The therapy is symptomatic: when you smoke, it becomes easier, but the problems do not disappear. When you quit, you find yourself face to face with your own fragility.”
This is the reason why counselors offer psychological support to those who want to quit. This therapy combines the use of a nicotine patch and the use of antidepressants.
The first months are often the hardest. Having opened the curtain between ourselves and reality, we begin to perceive everyday life as it is. With all its light and darkness, without any additional resources other than those that we draw from ourselves.
The end of smoking means, in a sense, the end of other life illusions.
“I quit smoking because I was afraid to die,” Elena continues, “but it’s like breaking a leg and losing a crutch. I was once again alone with my fears. I had a feeling that I had to sort everything out alone, without support and help.
Quitting smoking for me meant facing myself. I was 35, the moment came for summing up and radical changes in my life. For me, quitting smoking on a symbolic level was a way to highlight this fracture.”
A cigarette gives confidence, smoking gives rise to a whole ritual: open a pack, pull out a cigarette, light it up … This, in a sense, is the rhythm of life. And without tobacco, you have to reorganize your time.
“Now I dream less,” says Vladimir, 36. – Without smoking breaks, I work better and more. The cigarette helped me think, without it I became more active, I work more carefully, more seriously … and I no longer have my head in the clouds.
Discover other pleasures
Irina, 40, and Valery, 42, quit smoking together. Valery smoked 2 packs, Irina limited herself to one. Once Valery decided to get rid of this bad habit, Irina followed his example – no one wanted to be worse than the other. They were looking for alternatives. “First of all, to get distracted,” the couple explains.
Valery was closer to physical activity – running, cycling, gardening, and Irina found solace in food, however, like many hardened smokers who in this way try to replace one pleasure with another.
“A couple of times when I noticed that I was about to get angry, I lit up,” Elena admits. Now, when I’m angry, I breathe deeply. Or I leave the room, as if I’m going to look for a pack of cigarettes. I reproduce the same movement, but for a different reason. But I understand that this is a gesture that does not carry anything in itself.
Many ex-smokers say that some of their character traits have changed.
“Life without tobacco has made me more serious, less fun,” says 29-year-old Polina. “I’ve lost some of my nonchalance, but I no longer need a cigarette to connect with people, calm my nerves, or deal with difficulties.”
40-year-old Ekaterina, in turn, understands that abstinence strengthened her as a person: “The cigarette helped me to restrain aggression towards others. Now I’m more relaxed and collected.” In addition, she discovered that many of the little pleasures she associated with a cigarette, like watching a movie or having dinner with friends, were not related to her.
The memory of tobacco changes over time. Life is being rebuilt. Having won, none of the ex-smokers think about deliberately smoking again and becoming addicted.
“When I quit, I became closer to other people,” Elena concludes. “I used to smoke every 15 minutes, leaving the children or friends at the table for a shared dinner.” Think about it: tobacco separates smokers and non-smokers, but there are still more non-smokers.