Tragedy of Sophocles about the king Oedipus 2500 years. However, even today this story resonates in the soul of every person. Psychoanalyst Andrey Rossokhin tells why this is happening.
Psychologies: Why do psychoanalysts associate the Oedipus complex with sexuality?
Andrey Rossokhin: The complex itself is loving and hostile feelings, fantasies, desires (mostly unconscious) that the child experiences for his parents. Between the ages of three and five, the child gets to know his body, and he experiences all these experiences especially acutely. In addition, he sees that his parents show their love for each other in a completely different way than for him. He asks questions: «Why do parents sleep separately?», «What do parents do when I’m not around?». And discovers that the world is sexy. Therefore, it is sexual desires, fantasies, associated fears and mental conflicts that come to the fore in the oedipal phase. During this period, the child no longer feels the need to merge with the mother, as in infancy, and receive unlimited pleasure from this. The boy wants his mother, and the girl wants her father.
It is customary to talk about the Oedipal conflict. What is it?
A. R .: In very contradictory — loving and hostile — desires and feelings towards both parents. It is wrong to believe that a child only loves a parent of the opposite sex and wants to get rid of the parent of the same sex. In reality, for example, a boy not only loves his mother, hating his father for being a rival in possession of his mother, he also loves his father! And he feels not only love for his mother, but also hatred — for the fact that she belongs to her father. In addition, it must be understood that the Oedipal conflict of the child does not exist outside the Oedipal conflicts of the parents. Much depends on how they found a way out of their oedipal situation and how it responds in relation to the child.
Why is the figure of the father so important during this period?
A. R .: It is important not only during the oedipal phase. When a child is born, he is completely dependent on his mother and wants to merge with her endlessly, to receive maximum pleasure from this. But the mother cannot spend all her time with the child — she leaves him, including for the sake of the father. From the very beginning, the father interferes in the relationship between mother and child — prevents him from owning her completely. He personifies the law, the restrictions that oppose pleasure. The presence of the father teaches the child to understand: there are desires, but there is something that does not allow them to be satisfied without fail — this is the basis of the «Super-I» — the structure of the psyche that forms the personality and makes a person a social individual. Thanks to the father figure, the child gradually begins to realize the limitations, learns to restrain his desires and satisfy them, correlating with the requirements of reality.
Does the oedipus complex influence our choice of partner as we grow up?
A. R .: This or that resolution of the Oedipal conflict leads to this or that possibility of the development of adult sexuality, adult feelings. If the parents during this period not only limited the child, but also supported him, he gradually acquires the ability to independently work out internal conflicts. As far as he managed to resolve them, as an adult, he will be able to choose the object of love freely, based on his desires and values.